You're So Vein

So last week when I had my annual physical that I fasted for, they informed me the Blood Sucker (aka Lab Lady) called in and wasn't available so I'd have to postpone to this week.

Fastforward to this morning. I had 9 a.m. labs which meant 90 minutes of work with no breakfast or more importantly, no caffeine. But I arrived at the clinic desk all cheerful and saying "I'm here for my finger prick." 

The receptionist is like: "We don't do finger pricks here."

So I sit down and wait and run through my history of trying to be a good citizen and donate blood – but fainting every time. Two minutes of that thinking in the waiting room is enough to pump up my anxiety.

Then, it didn't help she couldn't find a vein! She tied the tourniquet thingy to my right arm and tapped. Then transferred it to my left arm and tapped. Tried to poke a vein with no luck so went back to my right arm. After two pokes (I say that like it didn't hurt), she said I was bleeding a lot but not in a way she could draw a blood sample.

I replied: "I think I need to lay down."

So they put me in an exam room with an institutional lying down surface and she was able to draw blood out of my old lady-vein showing hand! What?!

I was just glad it was done and they gave me a minute to recover. I think it would've been OK if I hadn't had 12+ hours without food or drink. That's just my inner voice saying: "Not your fault – you're still a rockstar."

Afterward, I only had to ride the escalator up to my office and then grab my Secret Santa "coffee's on my today" gift and ride up one more level for caffeine and semi-healthy nourishment.

I'm grateful the clinic peeps were understanding and extra grateful I didn't faint. But if I get screening results that say I have high cholesterol or something, I'll let them know they can draw blood in a year!

Am I too "vein"?