Substitutions

I figure if sugar has a substitute in the form of Splenda, whipping cream has a non-dairy substitute in Cool Whip, and butter has a very non-dairy substitute in margarine, then perhaps Calgon has a substitute, too.

I found out today it does!

If you don't have enough Calgon on hand to take you far enough away, here are some things that work just as well:

• Getting re-aligned at the back-cracker first in the morning.
• Making it to work safely on the slippery-est day of the year.
• Developing plans to see your college roommate for the first time in 20 years.
• Reaching the half-way mark on an enormous project at work.
• Finding time to Shred during your lunch hour.
• Enjoying a Friday night fish fry with your son's favorite babysitting couple.
• Spending time with the in-laws (from sister to parents and uncle) at a basketball game.
• Hot tubbing with your baby boy on a mild winter's eve.

Ahhhh, something akin to Calgon did take me away... at last!