Blessings in Disguise

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." ~ Matthew 17:20

I don't know anyone who hasn't read the famous Footsteps poem and identified with it at least to some extent. When life is good and things are going our way, we don't wonder where God is. In fact, we may not even think about Him. When times are troubling, though, we wonder -- sometimes with a big huff -- where he's been and where he is now.

That's just human nature.

Three months into the new year and I am still struggling with this anxiety business and wondering why this is happening to me. Me who has worked so hard to be healthy and stay healthy and active. Me who thought life was normal. And liked it.

I've had my share of pity parties, asking, "Why me?" I've asked God more than a few times to take this from me, but He's not taking it. At least not on MY time schedule. I need patience. I need faith -- larger than a mustard seed. I need to open my eyes and see the miracle that has transpired from this.

Yes, a miracle.

We often question why negative things happen to us. Of course, if it's a good thing, it happens because we deserve it. If it's bad, we wonder what we did wrong or why God is targeting us or testing us. More often than not, when time passes, we see something good came out of the bad. We realize that sometimes flippant saying "Everything happens for a reason" really is true.

This is how I know it...

In a nutshell, when I was in the ER and the doctor saw my age and suggested I was experiencing a "hot flash," I poo-pooed the idea because one, I am too young. (Not) And two, I thought it was a ridiculous notion that women had to quit driving when they reach menopause because they fear passing out. It did, however, prompt me to make a long overdue appointment with my ob/gyn, who I just call Dr. Fun. (Because it's not a fun visit).

By some miracle (there's that word again), I didn't have to wait 6 months to fit into his jam-packed schedule. He could see me that week. Long story short... abnormal pap leads to biopsy of 3 areas of cervix leads to "severe precancerous" results leads to not-fun procedure to remove those cells.

That was not an enjoyable experience. But if I hadn't been sick with all that lightheaded and dizzy crap and concerned about defending my non-menopausal honor, I wouldn't have had that sudden urgency to get back on schedule with Dr. Fun, and I might have waited months and months to see him. By then, it could have developed into that next stage which could only be one thing. A C word I don't like to type.

The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. Sure, I don't always like them. And I definitely don't have the patience to deal with them. But I can't lose faith over them either.

Easier said than done. But this is a good reminder I can't ignore.

I mean miracles don't happen every day!

Or do they?