Holes

As I worried about our baby today, dealing with storms and maybe even hail and lightning, I prayed for his safety... then started counting down to his return in something like 40 hours.

His absence definitely leaves a hole in my heart, but I am lucky. It's only temporary.

After visiting the funeral home this evening for the 3rd time in 10 days, I see many friends who are now dealing with holes in their hearts that won't be going away any time soon. Maybe never. If they are lucky, though, they will get smaller and less painful. Over time. Probably a long time.

Tonight's funeral was for a gentleman hubby played ball with years ago and even dabbled in some Johnny Horton karaoke with the guy. He died of a heart attack Sunday. While he hadn't been in the best of health -- with a few nasty habits he refused to kick -- it still took those close to him by surprise. As his grieving wife pointed out, it's going to be a big hole to fill.

How does one fill it? I think what a lot of people do is stuff it with memories. That's what a dozen of us did at a nearby saloon after the service. But that won't be the same as feeling someone's strong arms around you or hearing a boisterous voice and laugh.

Hopefully the love, comfort and support of family and friends fills the hole a bit, too. We do feel helpless on the outside looking in. Very helpless.

I only know I am so blessed that -- for today -- it is not my heart that's breaking. And extremely grateful mine will be mended come Friday. I will not take that for granted.