Fatted Calves

I was going for Mom of the Year when I got up at 5 a.m. and noticed that Carter's homework project was in the computer printer queue, waiting for a yellow cartridge to be installed.

I didn't have a yellow cartridge. But, I hoped that before sunrise, somebody would!

If you see my photo on the People of Wal-Mart website, just skip to the next one, please. I did not look pretty for my homework "emergency printer cartridge" run. Immediately after 5:30 a.m. kickboxing class, I strolled (well, almost trotted) through the aisles, vulnerable to the public eye... unshowered, "glistening" from class, and my face – au naturale.

Thank the Lord they had my yellow cartridge AND special appreciation that for once I did not run into anyone I knew! I guess that makes up for the fact I didn't get a "Thanks, Mom" from the frazzled teenager.

That also was my cue that I deserved a Freakishly Fat Tuesday!

OK, I didn't go too far. After working out first thing and trying to reduce my fatted calves, I kind of was guilted into behaving all day. That and I was too busy at work after 3 days out of the office. I stayed late to wrap up a video-editing project and rejoiced that it was a success.

And that's when Fat Tuesday just got fatter.

It dawned on me that if I went home via the Stevens Point route, I would drive right past Arby's and could get one of their Andes Mint And Chocolate Swirl Shakes. Oh yes I did!

It was too much, though. And now I know why it can be easy to proclaim a sacrifice for Lent. With all our gluttonous behavior on Tuesday, come Ash Wednesday morning we vow never to eat or drink "that" again. I won't go so far as to say that about anything mint-related, but I can enjoy in moderation, right?

(Note to self: Arby's size Medium is not moderation. Uff da.)

My unimpressive Fat Tuesday has come to this... My stomach has no more room for any more Mardi Gras goodness. And since hubby is gone bowling, there will be no beads coming my way. Perhaps I'll just sink my teeth into a big FAT book and go crazy.

Just keep me off the Wal-Mart website!