The Bug Project

A friend of mine, who also has an 11-year-old son, shared an article with me this week from Focus on the Family magazine.

The article, entitled "The Bug Project," tells of a sixth-grade bug project to be done over the summer and completed by September. The mother of the sixth-grade girl wants to "help" the girl get going because she is afraid her daughter will procrastinate and not get it finished on time or in a quality fashion. The father suggests the mother let their daughter handle this on her own -- learning success or failure due to her own effort (or lack of it).

I can empathize with the mother who agreed to back off but really, really wanted to drop hints occasionally. She turned to her Bible and was reminded in Isaiah 40:11 that He gently leads those with young. She took some comfort and managed to "let go" for the summer.

In the end, the girl did finish the project on time and was able to add some elements to it that the mother admitted she would never think of.

Overall, the article was a good reminder that there comes a time -- armed with some guidance on time management and deadlines -- to let our children be responsible for their own successes and failures. I shared the article with Jim and we agreed this isn't going to be easy for any of us. Sixth grade promises to bring more projects and papers, but it is only fair to Carter for him to know what he is capable of doing on his own. Sure we'll be there as resources, but we can't orchestrate it all.

Easier said than done! Hubby says if he sees me in the conductor role, he'll just say "Isaiah" to remind me of the Bible verse and the story about the bug project. Good plan.

Can you believe we already used that "code word" today?

We did. Only it had nothing to do with the sixth-grader. This was all about the truant teenager who was given one last chance this summer to complete a project so he could stay at the alternative high school. All we needed to see was some effort. Something to show he gave a darn. But no, not happening.

And we have to be OK with that. He needs to learn about consequences. And then it is up to him to use that knowledge appropriately in the future. But we can't make him. And that sucks.

But that's parenting.

Good thing we have a loving Father on our side.