Wait Limits

... You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part...
~ Tom Petty

Just because I act like I know everything, doesn't mean I do. In fact, there are plenty of things I'm clueless about. And some days I can't handle that.

Like 13 days ago I got a letter in the mail with my mammogram results. They said there was something they needed to take another look at. But not to worry because it probably was nothing, probably not cancer. Well let me tell you something, when you see the word cancer in writing, it's like all spotlights from heaven are shining on that one word! That's all you see.

But by all means, don't worry about it!

My sister asked me yesterday why I did the duathlon. I could have answered many things but frankly, it was just a welcome distraction. I'm not good at waiting. Knowing I wouldn't get my "close inspection" until today, the 13th, it sure helped to concentrate on something that got me to and through the 12th. And it did.

I thought this might be just the beginning of this adventure into the unknown -- with a followup visit or two to come. But after my initial tests today, they took 2 or 3 slightly more painful ones (that's sarcasm) until they had an answer for me. And thankfully the answer was that I am OK. They explained what they saw and what it is, but all I cared is that they said I was OK. No tumors. No cancer.

I hadn't realized how heavy this burden was laying on my mind until I walked out of the hospital and felt like I was floating across the parking lot. What a relief. I finally had answers. And they were exactly what I wanted.

Now the next question: Why didn't I just trust God on this one?

Two lessons learned: 1) Get your yearly mammograms. 2) When you are giving something over to God, you have to let go so He can take it!