Fatter Tuesday

I've never been to New Orleans so I have never been to the "real" Mardi Gras either. The downside, I suppose, is that I have no beads to show for it. The upside, without question, is that I still can participate in Fat Tuesday... no matter where I live!

Whoever thought of calling the day before Lent starts "fat" anything was a genius. If you're thinking of giving up anything for Lent -- especially anything related to food or beverage -- it's the last chance to load up before denying yourself the calorie-filled pleasure until Easter.

You down that last Hershey bar. You take a deep last drag from that cigarette. You swig your last beer. You enjoy the last feelings of caffeine-inspired alertness. You lick the last bit of mint ice cream off the spoon.

What? Wait. That might be going too far.

I got a special treat today. Last night I was digging around the chest freezer out in the garage and lo and behold, I clamped my hands on a neglected carton of Schwan's Peppermint Stick ice cream! How did I overlook this? I think it was hiding from me! Too late now. This just made my Fat Tuesday fatter!

So while I am licking the last bit of mint ice cream off my spoon, I am contemplating if I can put this once abandoned carton back into the freezer, only to purposely avoid it for some 40 days. Can I? I always wimp out and "give up" something I really can live without. Like broccoli. OK, not that obvious. But really, I don't challenge myself in a way that would constitute a "sacrifice."

Until this year.

OK, I'm only going to say this once. I'm giving up ice cream for Lent.

Well, that was tough to type.

But when I held the spoon in my mouth and used both hands, I could type way better.