I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

...Oh, what a laugh it would have been,
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!

When I was little, I didn't make the connection why Santa and Daddy couldn't be in the same room at the same time. I just thought it was a cute song about wayward mothers.

No, I didn't think that. Honest. I just thought it was cute.

These days I hear that song and I see Santa (a.k.a. Daddy) still gets all the credit for bringing joy (a.k.a. Gifts) on Christmas. From my experience and the experience of many of my friends, it is actually Mrs. Claus (a.k.a. Mommy) who is responsible for the lists, the shopping, the wrapping and subsequent delivery of joy (a.k.a. Exactly what you wanted).

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Usually.

I mean you know my opinion on shopping. I like making a list and getting what I want. And being done with it. Can't handle endless browsing (in crowds) for ideas and the "perfect" gift. I think that's why I like to get my shopping done and out of the way early. That way I can relax.

And help the guys who are waiting 'til now to figure out what to buy that special someone in their lives. Over time, I have helped my share of Mr. Clauses do this.

I remember an old copy editor at the newspaper wanted to buy a pretty sweater for his wife. It was Dec. 23 so he was running out of time and begged my help. He said, "You're about her size. Can you come with?" For someone who was 60, he probably should have had an idea by then what her size was, but I was happy to oblige. He took me out on dinner break and had me try on about 5 or 6 sweaters. I offered some opinions. He finally picked one and was thrilled to be done. His wife liked it, too.

Fast forward 10 years and I am in the same boat. Only this guy is on the ball because it's only Dec. 20, not the 23rd. His wife and I scrapbook together so he needed a little advice on where to find the gifts she hinted at a few weeks ago. He didn't know these particular items aren't sold in most scrapping stores. Had he asked me a few weeks ago when he got the major hint from his wife, it wouldn't have been a problem. Now, I found the items, ordered them online to get here by Saturday ... and had to pay an arm and a leg for shipping. (Well, he had to pay it.) But I think he's relieved to have his shopping done. And I know his wife will love her gift!

I'm wondering if maybe I could make a career out of this? In my free time (ha, ha) I could be a professional shopper. I know people hire these shoppers in the real world. People with money and no time.

I wouldn't dream of taking money just for helping out. I suppose if they insist, I could take payment in eggnog shakes or Peppermint Stick ice cream.

Then I'll let them get their credit on Christmas morning when the Mommies break out the mistletoe!