How Now, Brown Cow

 

Moo-ve over, teenagers. If you want to learn the art of selfies, just ask a cow.

I HERD some great photo tips today while I was out for a walk in the neighborhood. Since not everyone can do the super model runway walk like this cutie above, there are ways to work the angle for in-cow-dible results.

Just ask my Bess friend Bess.

Not to fat shame her, but whoa, Bessie. Lay off the high-carb grass. She's a beautiful, brown-eyed babe but you might not know it from this angle. Nice calves, but... what a heifer (not exactly).

Now, to make the moo-la, here's the straight-on sultry look. There's the Divine Bovine we know and love. In fact, the skinny shamers are like, eat a sandwich, Bess. You're skin and bones!

When taking a close-up selfie, always focus in on your best feature.

Or not.

I know. She'll kill me when she sees this! Glad she was a good sport about it.

Another thing I learned at Camera Cow-llege...

Ever notice how cows eat salad all day and they are still hefty? Cameras don't lie. I am totally putting my diet out to pasture.