The Other One

As much as I love and respect the often-repeated Serenity Prayer, I liked this "other" version of it the minute I saw it today.

For me, it could just end at "serenity to stop beating myself." Doesn't matter the reason. I do it too often because I allow others to have the power to make me feel like I'm not good enough. That I'm the idiot. I'm the failure. I'm worthless.

I don't love myself enough to stop it. I should say I didn't love myself but am working to change that.

That's what I like about this prayer. ... The courage to forgive myself because I'm working on doing better. And, I might add, the recognition that it is a process and we make progress, but it never ends.

Seriously, that is why I am always so apologetic for my existence. When I say, "Sorry, I'm trying to change" or "I'm working to get better at that," it just points out I haven't mastered whatever "it" is that I am working on. Therefore confirming, in my mind, I am a failure.

That is why it takes so much courage to forgive ourselves for trying. It's actually quite bold to love ourselves for the people we are, knowing there may be a long journey to the people we want to become.

And, the final portion, acknowledging that God loves me just the way I am... no matter my progress or lack of it. No matter others' opinions of me or societal standards. No matter how many times I've tried to be that "better" person and failed.

Having that wisdom. That's a huge deal.

I'm glad I stumbled upon this prayer today. I needed that reminder that even if I have a long way to go, I have actually come a long way, too. And I am good enough right where I am.

Not going to stop the journey. Just pulling into a rest area to get my bearings.