Runaway Nun Running at the Mouth

This year marks the 500th anniversary of Martin Luther's famous 95 Theses, which helped spark the founding of the Reformation and the division of Christianity. Legend has it that on Oct. 31, 1517, Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the church in Wittenberg, Germany, the town where he was based.

Although last Sunday was actually Reformation Sunday, our church had confirmation so we waited until today to have a special 500th anniversary observance. Instead of a regular church service, we watched the movie Luther (2003, starring Ralph Fiennes), had a potluck brunch, and welcomed two visitors to First English Lutheran – Martin Luther and his wife, Katie.

For real.

Awhile back, our pastor's husband – the coordinator of the event – asked if I'd do some research on Katie Von Bora Luther and present it as part of the celebration. Oh, and dress the part. How can I turn that down? I agreed only if I could do "Robyn style."

Katie Luther was a very interesting woman. Found a lot of different sources of info and culled it together in a monologue / screen play of sorts, with a touch of entertainment and hopefully humor. I found / created the costume thanks to the school music department, which had a few old things laying around from previous madrigal performances.

My only hope this morning was that I would not get into an accident driving to church dressed like this! Thankfully, God watched over me! And I had a great time greeting people and doing the "performance." I was not nervous at all. I just had a lot of fun with it.

"Martin" did his part before the movie played and I did mine during the potluck intermission. So whether you want to read it or not, here it is. And it is about 98 percent factual, 2 percent creative license.

Straight from the mouth of a runaway nun... this week's star of the Real Housewives of Wittenberg... Katie Luther!

Guten morgen!
Oh, let me switch this to Midwestern English so you don’t have to read the subtitles.
Good morning!

Katherina Von Bora Luther.
That’s me. My friends call me Katie. And my Marty calls me LORD Katie. And with good reason. But we’ll get to that…

I didn’t always live in this glamorous yet ghostly monastery. Despite my long, fancy-sounding name, I came from very humble beginnings.

Although women never give their age, I will tell you I was born on January 29, 1499, and let you do the math.

My father was an impoverished nobleman. When I was 6, my mother died so father sent me to the convent school to be educated. When I was 9, I entered the convent. In 1515, when I turned 16, I took my vows and became a nun at the soonest possible date.

Two years later, the good Dr. Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to a church door. Word spread quickly – but not to us. I was in a very, very secluded monastery under the local province of a man who was an enemy of the Reformation. In other words, no internet or cable at our place.

When we did hear about the Protestant Reform movement, a number of us grew curious first, then dissatisfied with the cloistered life. So a dozen of us conspired to flee in secrecy – a dangerous move, punishable by death.

I contacted Martin Luther via a letter, begging for his assistance, because well, he seemed kind of gutsy. And it turned out, he was.

On Easter eve in 1523, Mr Luther sent a merchant to help us escape. A man who was delivering fish in 12 barrels came in late one night to the convent, unloaded the fish and then loaded us nuns in the barrels. It wasn’t exactly a first-class operation!

But we made it to Wittenberg. The wagon rolled up and the group of us – smelling like we do not even want to think about – got off the wagon, right there on the steps of the church. Mr. Luther was there to meet us and what does he say? He says he felt so sorry for us. And here's why.

We were such a wretched little bunch and even if we washed the fish smell away, we had a problem because most girls were married at age 15 and 16. And we were well past our prime. What was going to happen to us? Martin asked parents and relations to take in the “refugees,” but most declined. Taking in escaped nuns was a crime under canon law.

We also had the option of going to a convent that was a little friendlier to the Reformation, or we could get married. Ya. 12 nuns smelling like fish and Mr Luther was expected to find us husbands!
Within two years, he was able to arrange homes, marriages, or employment for all of the runaways – except me.

Martin tried to marry me off to two suitors, but neither arrangement worked out. I had picked somebody out, but he did not want me. He said I was too feisty. Can you believe that? Then the helpful Mr Luther chose somebody for me and, frankly, I turned up my nose because he was too sanctimonious. He was holier than thou and I did not like him.

So I said to Marty, “After those two you might not make such a bad husband yourself.”

To set the record straight, I wasn’t proposing to him. But it did make him consider.

Finally, he decided it was an OK idea because, and I quote, "the marriage would please his father, rile the pope, cause the angels to laugh, and the devils to weep."
How’s that for romance?

The result was the joining of a 42-year-old former monk and a 26-year-old former nun in holy matrimony on June 13, 1525 – 8 years after the composition of the 95 theses.

And even though my girlfriends were all like “oooh, you married a doctor.” He was a doctor of theology. Not a highly-paid surgeon.

Let me tell you about marriage to the esteemed Dr Luther.

Granted I wasn’t exactly a domestic goddess at the time. I knew how to sing and pray and that was about it. But I soon realized one of us had to be in charge.

To be frank, Mr. Luther brought nothing into the marriage but some old books and smelly clothes. Oh and a roof over our heads.

Marty was living in the building that had been the Augustinian monastery at Wittenberg. It was called the “Black Cloister.” Does that not sound appealing? It sounds awful – a dark, gray, place in Germany called the “Black Cloister.” And guess what? The electors gave it to us as a wedding gift!

That’s what every new bride wants… a home called the Black Cloister with 40 rooms to clean!

It goes without saying that we started off with little financial advantage. Marty could quote the Bible frontwards and backwards and do so in several languages but he couldn’t balance a checkbook if his life depended on it!

Needless to say, I managed the family finances and freed Mr. Luther for writing, teaching, and preaching. He earned an income from the hymns and books he wrote and the sermons he preached. And I ran a small farm and sold chickens and eggs at the local market in town. So we managed to get along.

The responsibilities around the house were not light either. My dear Marty called me the "morning star of Wittenberg" – not because of my obvious good looks, but because I rose at 4 a.m. every day to get to my “to do” list. I took care of the vegetable garden, orchard, fishpond, and barnyard animals, and like a good German woman – brewed my own beer. I even butchered the hens, pigs, and cows myself. There was no time for a woman to be squeamish in the 16th century.

Or lazy.

Let’s not forget running the household, too, and eventually caring for our family and other loved ones in our full house. How did we fill 40 rooms?

Mr Luther and I were blessed with half a dozen children – not 40. In addition to our own 6 children and the 4 orphans from Marty’s sister that we raised, I had a relative living with us, and there were as many as 30 students, guests, or boarders staying in the monastery. Thankfully, many of them were paying guests.

They all came under my care. Was it overwhelming? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes. Did we still have fun? Definitely yes.

Mr Luther doted on our large family but was able to devote himself to the simpler pleasures of life, gardening, and writing music.

For recreation, we enjoyed a bowling lane of sorts in our garden, board games such as chess, and music. And we had a pet dog named Elsa – that’s spelled E.L.C.A.

One of the most legendary aspects of our home was our dinner table. And not because of my cooking. Mealtimes often included many invited guests in addition to our family including relatives, adopted children, and Martin’s students.

Some of his students compiled many of their memories from our table into a collection that has come to be known as “Table Talk”. It possibly mentions I invented the potluck. But you'll have to read it for yourself. You may be more familiar with Dr Luther’s formal correspondences like the 95 theses, or his heavy theological works like his commentary On Romans. “Table Talk” provides a glimpse into the less formal side of us and life in the Luther household.

For example, Mr Luther rarely called me Katherine, but preferred “Katie.” And he often used even more humorous titles to address me including, “the boss,” “Lady Doctor Luther,” “Lady of the Pigmarket”, and a German term similar to “ball and chain.” His most favorite name for me was “Lord Katie,” to which he added the title for himself: her “willing servant.”

So I must be off.
You have a movie to watch.
I have a list of things to do today and hopefully will get some help from my willing servant!

God bless and auf wiedersehen! 

(Copyright Robyn Austin) 
 

"Martin" and I after the fun. Our heights matched and we were very color-coordinated in the 16th-century brown, don't you think?

Will have to return the dress, apron, and scarf this week and get back to my undomestic goddess self.

Thank God my real husband has 500 years' worth of patience!