Empty Nest Commandments

Naturally today's column for our church bulletin is good timing because, well, I planned it that way...

Thou Shalt Call Your Mother

Observe them carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, “Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.”  –Deuteronomy 4:6

The journey of parenthood is filled with bittersweet moments. So many milestones. So many mixed emotions.

I can still recall sending my son off to his first day of kindergarten. I was proud of him for his newfound independence. And scared at the same time. Will he adjust OK? Who will protect him when I’m not there? All the while, crying tears of sadness because my baby’s growing up too fast!

We wonder if they’ll remember to say “please” and “thank you,” wash their hands, and be kind. Are they old enough to be considered “wise and understanding” people like we read in Deuteronomy?

Trust me. We’ll never think they are. No matter what age. No matter what milestone.

It always astonished me that the same time my teenager was learning to drive I was still checking daily to be sure he’d brushed his teeth. How is he responsible enough to operate a 4,000-pound machine but unable to lift a one-ounce toothbrush? If any of you moms or dads have solved that life mystery, feel free to clue me in.

This weekend marks a major milestone for many parents. College move-in day signals another bittersweet moment. And a pretty big one. Especially if your child is a freshman – and especially if you are suddenly facing an empty nest.

Just like kindergarten, we are proud of their independence and decision to further their education. But we’re really scared. We know it’s a huge adjustment for them – and us. Will they get up in time for class? Will they eat a good breakfast? Will they do their laundry? Will they brush their teeth? Will they call their mother? Will they know how to say “no” to temptations?

That’s a big one. We’ve taught them manners and morals. Will they remember?

If we could just reiterate verse 9: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

Take heart, empty nesters. As a two-year veteran, I can tell you they get distracted for a bit, but eventually come around. Are they “wise and understanding” people yet? 

Not so much the “call your mom” part, but their teeth are clean.