The Black Side

When I worked for some retail trade magazines, I learned the meaning behind "Black Friday." If a business makes enough profit the day after Thanksgiving, they could finish the year with their accounting ledgers in the black -- versus red, signifying debt.

I'm pretty sure from my experience last night, though, that they call it Black Friday because the irresistible sales call to the deep, dark, black corner of our hearts where selfishness and greed reside.

And it's ugly.

This year was the first year that most major chains decided to open at midnight Thursday instead of waiting until 5 a.m. Friday. And some, even at 10 p.m. Thursday! I thought, "Who would have the energy to shop Thanksgiving night after indulging in turkey, stuffing, pie and couch time all day??"

The answer: Just about everyone!

Personally, I only started going out on Black Friday the last couple of years when there was something I had been waiting to purchase and it was finally a great deal. I have never been there, though, for the exact moment a store opens and the crowd of thousands rush in. I had no idea what I was missing!

Last night, Carter volunteered to come with me to Wal-Mart, where I had my eye on two items -- one (a gift) going on sale at 10 p.m. and the other (a small digital camera) at midnight. The thing with Wal-Mart is that it is open 24 hours so they have cellophane wrap around all the Black Friday deals, then cut it open at the time it goes on sale and people can grab it. I guess it beats waiting out in the cold for a store to open.

We initially were going to get to the store at 10:30 p.m., grab the item and then just wait for the other. At the last-minute, I decided we should probably get there before 10. I don't know what rock I've been living under but nothing could prepare me for the shock of the full parking lots in and near Wal-Mart and parking on the roads nearby. We're talking a Super Center with a ton of parking. Holy crap. Where did all these people come from?

Armed with my Black Friday Store Map, I knew where we had to head to get this PS3 game. The produce section. I know, right? They have things in weird places. So we get into the store and there is a mass of hundreds of people near the video area. We figured out they were standing around pallets of games but we couldn't see which one had PS3 games and which had Wii. When we finally peeked through enough people to see which one had the PS3 Madden '12 game, we elbowed our way close.

Which, in reality, was nowhere close.

When the time signaled for the cellophane to come off, it was scary. I mean seriously life-threatening scary. Carter and I were trying to reach in, but while getting pushed and jostled and squished from every direction. Were we going to be trampled alive? I thought I was going to faint at one point. But getting flattened against the shelf of apples brought me back in a hurry. Ouch.

Needless to say, the pallet was cleared in 18 seconds tops. And our hands were empty.

Since we were stuck in the mass, we did manage to grab a few Blu-ray movies nearby for $5 a piece -- but nothing we couldn't live without.

Now here's the top-secret deal that the store doesn't want you to know... On a whim, we went back to the electronics department to see if there were any games back there on sale. They are all under lock and key but the attendant had the one by the PS3 games open. When we spotted the Madden game on the shelf, I figured we might as well get it since that's the only thing our nephew Colin wanted anyway. The guy hands it to me and I say, "Can we still get the deal on this even if it wasn't up front?" He says, "As far as I know."

Seriously? We could have waltzed back here -- with all body parts intact -- first? (I'd lock that tip away for later.)

I wasn't going to get my hopes up until we checked out. When they scanned it and the $28 price popped up, Carter and I just looked at each other like we won the lottery.

Pretty pathetic.

So we took the goods out to the car. Gave each other a high five and said, "That's it for Round 1!"

Oh yeah, we knew exactly what we had to do for Round 2...

At 12:21 a.m. my Black Friday shopping was done. Thanks to skirting the rules a bit, I had the two items I wanted.

But I felt kind of black inside.