Grand Funk

Most of the time, I consider myself a Modern Day woman. I can think on my own two feet. And run on them, too. I will not let myself be defined by what job I hold or whose hand I hold.

That's most of the time. But some of the time, well, a lot of the time, I do let something define me.

Just this little thing. Not much bigger than a bread box. But it can make or break my day. My week. My year. Just this little thing. With the power to seduce me some days. And push me around on others. But like a woman trapped in an abusive relationship, I just can't leave it. Tomorrow things may change...

I know I'm not the only woman who gives this power to her bathroom scale. Am I?

Why do we do it? I just don't know.

What I do know is that when the numbers are up, I am feeling down. Not so much the Great Depression kind of down. More like I'm in a Grand Funk these days.

This hip business that ground my running to a halt for a month has done a number on me. Make that a big number. I haven't weighed this much since Carter was 6 months old and I decided to make some changes. Of course, back then I practically starved myself to get down to a size 6 and I certainly don't expect or need to get down there again. And wouldn't do it that way. But I can't get over the fact that in the 8 years I've been at my current employer, I have put on 20 pounds. How does that happen?

Obviously, it doesn't happen overnight, but it can be a shocker when it catches up with you. I never claimed to be a svelte runner. I have said I am more like a runner in a shot-putter's body. And when I am actively running, I am OK with that. I get my daily dose of endorphins so I am happy. At that point, my scale is not defining me -- my feeling of accomplishment is. So is my sense of health and well-being.

I decided this week that while my hip continues to heal and I am gradually getting my runner's high back, I need to find an alternate source of endorphins. Don't worry -- this doesn't get dirty!

Yesterday I went over to the fitness center at lunch (like a I used to) and gently pedaled on the recumbent bike for half an hour. It didn't hurt me or kill me. In fact, I went back again today and hopped on the treadmill to stretch the legs out. That didn't kill me either. In fact, I might go back tomorrow and sit down on the bike again.

You know what else is good about this? For the first time since probably August, I am taking an actual lunch break instead of eating at my desk so I can continue to work. Did you think my scale was the only thing with power over me? No wonder I'm in this funk.

I think I better crank up a little Funky Town on my MP3 player and do something about it! And you know we Modern Day women are always up for a challenge!