Trust Fund

I used to think I had control issues. Oh, I still might, but I am learning that it is not necessarily that I want to control everything. It's that I don't trust others to do it right or do it the way I would. Still a little bit controlling, but a more a lack of faith in others.

I suppose it's fine to feel this way about people. I mean they sort of have to prove themselves to us sometimes to earn our trust and faith, right?

But it's not OK to feel this way about God. To question Him. To doubt Him. And, shame on us, to lose Faith in Him and His plans for us.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but that's what I've been doing since the new calendar went up on the wall. So much seems to be happening to Me. Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, I wonder, "Why me?!" I got a phone call from one of my doctors the other day with some news that took me by surprise. My first thought was: "Really God? You're just going to pile it on, aren't You?"

Even though this new twist could prove to be nothing, it added a layer of self-pity to my mood while simultaneously stripping away a layer of trust in my future. And well, God.

That's when hubby shared the following with me. It was posted on Facebook by someone named Suzan Bayorgeon. I do not know if she authored this or someone else did and she was just sharing it. Either way, it's brilliant and the mark hit home immediately. Maybe this will speak to you as well...

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed): Okay

God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...