Witch Doctor

Today -- 5 months & 1 week since my ER visit -- I finally had my last session with my Witch Doctor. (I will miss her great couch!).

I recall hubby and a handful of others who have said all along that someday I'd look back and say, "Wow, 2012 sure started off like crap. Glad I got through that!" And here I am, close to saying that. How did I get here? There's no magic pill. Well, there sort of is, but I went another route first.

The Witch Doctor I was seeing used a voodoo method called EMDR. The in-a-nutshell Wikipedia explanation is this: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of psychotherapy used to resolve the development of trauma-related disorders caused by exposure to distressing, traumatizing, or negative life events. The goal of EMDR therapy is to process these distressing memories, reducing their lingering influence and allowing clients to develop more adaptive coping mechanisms.

To accomplish this, and this is the voodoo part, she had to use bilateral stimulation (e.g. eye movements, tones, or tapping) during each session. I wasn't exactly "going under" like hypnosis, but my mind was in place I could process through distressing memories and events, and move on. Yes, most recently, I was distressed about my near-fainting experiences, especially when driving. But there were other things to get "out of the way" first. Needless to say I have enough baggage to open a luggage store. But hey, my inventory is way down now. Yay.

So little by little, we EMDR'd our way through it. It's an amazing process. Simply fascinating. I can't believe that when we first started, I couldn't drive 3 minutes to the bank, could not handle sitting in a gymnasium to watch Carter play basketball and couldn't set foot in Wal-Mart (oh the money we saved back then). 

During these 5 months, I have learned a lot about myself but also have come to empathize with people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks on a much more serious level. It's no picnic. I am glad I decided to be open and honest about my struggle. I discovered a lot of people have traveled those same challenging footsteps and survived. I also discovered I have more caring friends than I could dream of -- giving me advice, support, a listening ear, hugs and rides when I needed them. 

And hubby did all those things and more.

I am so blessed. And so grateful. 

Now I can finally start my Happy New Year! Bring on the noisemakers!