Path of Destruction

When we find ourselves on a path of destruction, it may mean we ignored the caution cone warning us to stop and take a look where we are and where we're headed. It also may mean, we were moving too fast to slow down and change course.

I thought it was fitting that I got to view some of the storm damage on Highway 54 near Nekoosa on my way to see my nephew in Black River Falls.

It appears Thursday's storm must have downed many, many trees in the Wood County Forest area. Judging from cleanup piles on both sides of the road, some must have blocked the highway or at least a lane of traffic.

Riverside Park in Nekoosa also saw damage.

Trees of all sizes were snapped off or simply uprooted and blown over.

Yikes.

Just because we know a storm is coming, doesn't mean we know exactly what it's going to bring. Just because it has the "potential" to produce strong winds, dangerous lightning and hail, doesn't mean it will. Then again, we might get all three.

I believe my nephew has experienced all three. Unfortunately for him, the storm produced alcoholism, post-traumatic stress disorder (after service in Iraq) and a felony conviction.

Where to start the cleanup with that storm!

Believe me, it was a mess. But he is doing an amazing job dealing with the damage.

After serving time over in the prison in Winnebago County, he has now earned the right to participate in a treatment program of sorts at the correctional facility in Black River Falls. Still part of the Wisconsin prison system, but with a focus on "storm cleanup."

I was blessed to spend the afternoon with him, sitting at a picnic table in the shade and hearing about his program and progress. He is doing some things that would be hard for any of us to do: Looking back at his path of destruction, determining what went wrong and why, and what he could have done differently. Not to dwell on it, but rather to learn from it and use that to make the appropriate behavioral decisions in the future.

Sounds like he's in the right place!

I hope he finds the answers he needs, bring order to his mess, and arm himself with the proper mindset going forward. He's feeling very positive about it. It's like visiting a different person than a year ago. Amazing. So proud of him and continue to hope for the best.

I was encouraged by the visit and even more so when I saw a sign that could direct all of us onto the right path.

Is it that easy to change course? Doesn't hurt to try.

Judgment Call

In that lovely region I call "Up North," I don't even know if it reached zero degrees today. It didn't matter.

Arctic temperatures have nothing on the warmth the love of a family can bring to a loved one in need. Today that loved one was my nephew Tony – and his mom (my twin) and family.

About 8 months ago, Tony made a mistake. Today a judge had to decide how he should pay for it. As hubby and I drove north, I just kept praying that God would help us accept what we cannot control and have faith the judge's sentence will be the best for our Tony.

I think it will be.

The judge and lawyers for both sides remarked that his case is unusual – from the fact that his armed robbery (with an unloaded gun) was an uncharacteristic action of the young Iraq vet to the recent volume of letters to the court asking that above all, the suffering alcoholic could get help.

As a crowd of about 20 of us – including every sibling and spouse except those in Texas –  listened, the judge expressed concern about Tony's future and what must be done to ensure it's a positive one. In the end he decided that Tony will serve prison time, but also participate in a 6-month in-prison treatment program. Once that is done, (which could be less than 2 years from now) he can be done with time behind bars but then must seek mental health help for his post-traumatic stress disorder issues – all while under several years of extended supervision.

Now it's time to pray for him, the prison program operators and the VA, who hopefully can step in with the PTSD challenges. Anyone who has seen American Sniper can understand how concerning that problem is for all of us who love this young man.

At least we all got to "visit" with him after the hearing. But that was still with a thick pane of glass between us and talking through a phone. He saw us all there, though, and appreciated it. It just would have been nice if at least my sister and her family could have hugged him goodbye. But sticking with rules, no physical contact allowed.

Can you imagine going 8 months without hugging your baby and now having to wait maybe 2 years, maybe less, maybe longer? My heart breaks for my twin and my nephew.

Never underestimate the value of a hug. And please don't take it for granted. No one could have predicted what happened last June. None of us can predict what will happen tomorrow either, for any of us.

Treasure today and all its blessings.

Nephews' Day

I know it didn't say National Nephews' Day on the calendar but they were at the center of my thoughts today!

Naturally, I am praying with pride each and every day for my nephew Tony, serving over in Iraq. He is never far from my thoughts these days as I sense his impatience to leave "God's litter box" and come home. We are all just as anxious!

I am also anxious to meet the newest member of our family -- the first baby since Carter. The world welcomed in a healthy Tyler Evan last night. Now I have my second great-nephew, my nephew Tim is a daddy (wow) and my nephew Travis is an uncle (cool). I have a sister who has now crossed the line into grandmotherhood, too, but she insists "great aunt" sounds much older than "grandma." Right.

We all couldn't wait for a first look at Tyler. I was checking Facebook like every 30 minutes at work. Finally a picture showed up just as I was talking to my sister RoAnn -- the new grandma -- so I had the privilege of hearing her wonderful reaction at seeing her new grandson! Very cool. (And he's quite adorable, I might add.)

Later today my attention turned to our nephew Colin, who had to race for his life tonight. Well not quite that dramatic. He needed to kick some butt -- finish his races well ahead of the points leader in order to claim the track championship. A lot of things would have had to fall in place for this sort of come-from-behind victory. And all of the things did not.

So he settles for second place but should be very proud of his accomplishments this season. We head to Marshfield tomorrow night where he is a lock to win that championship!

Great things are happening to these great "kids" (ALL my nephews) who seem to be turning into grown men overnight! Gotta love 'em!

If there isn't a National Nephews' Day, there should be. They certainly deserve one.

It's not just a party...

When I first awoke this morning and saw the hotel clock said 4:08 a.m., I thought, is this how 40 starts? My bladder can't make it through the night?!

But then the day got better.

We arrived Up North Friday night. I let the guys get settled at the hotel and I went out to my twin's house to help get thing set up. You know, the typical birthday thing, hanging streamers and 40th birthday thing-a-majigs.

Due to the rain, we couldn't set up anything outside until today. So we headed out to Raylene's by noon and were ready to party by 1. At one point early on, dark clouds rolled in and it sprinkled a bit, but then it was mostly clear skies for the party. Or, as Jim prompted the boys to say: "It's not just a party, it's an extravaganza!" Here are some highlights in pictures.


I was so pleased that my entire family could make the trek Up North. I mean really, teenage boys probably have something better to do than spend the day with their 40-year-old stepmother. But they didn't. And that meant a lot to me. Top right, stepson Casey concentrates on his throw in Lasso Golf. Above, Clay serves up a point in volleyball. Now about volleyball... Raylene and I played, too. After awhile I thought, why am I diving for the ball? Is it worth it to hurt my brittle bones this early in the day? No.


About this extravaganza thing... We got this idea in our heads a month ago or so that we wanted to have sort of a carnival atmosphere. So what the heck, why not rent a cotton candy machine? Above, Raylene enjoys some Whacky Watermelon cotton candy. Notice her beads (which we both wore) that say "Behold the ageless wonder." That's us.


Above, Carter plays the role of a "carnie" quite well while manning the spinning wheel game. The object was to spin the wheel and then earn a big prize by landing on the 28 or 40. Carter was ready to blow that air horn when someone won, but getting the wheel to stop on one of two numbers out of 50 is a lot harder than one would think. Eventually, I said they could land on their birthday, too. Finally, when my mom got up to spin again, we said she could land on any number that corresponded with one of her kid's birthdays. Keep in mind, she had 8 kids. The odds were in her favor. She landed on a 22 (my sister Rayna's birthday). BEEP! The horn sounds. We have a winner!


Let the games begin! Above, Clay tries to pass off a Lifesaver on a toothpick to Casey during the "Lifesaver Toothpick" race. Their team lost and all the "big boys" said they didn't want to play any more games like that with family -- that's for playing with girls. Note to self, this next generation doesn't quite get into this goofy stuff like we did as kids.


As one final challenging game, we devised an obstacle course/relay race of sorts for the two teams. A person had to toss 3 bean bags into a bucket, then answer an '80s trivia question from Raylene or me, then spin around a bat twice, then drop three clothespins into a jar. Then run back and tag their next teammate. Above, hubby spins around while my dad acts as the "official" for the game. My team won, by the way.


When it came time for presents, I finally got to give Raylene her surprise book I created with pictures of us since childhood. She loved it! That still wasn't her best surprise of the day, though. That came earlier in the day when her son, Tony, who is in the Army, surprised her by coming home for the party. We hadn't seen him since Christmas. What a gift. Above, we hold up dresses we wore as babies. Our mom gave us each a box of special items covering everything from baby books to report cards to graduation gowns. No wisecracks that those are antiques, OK?

I will say that capping off the day by playing kickball in the dark, marking bases with glow sticks so we could see them, and shooting off fireworks, it's been quite a hoot turning 40. One might say it wasn't just a party, it was an extravaganza!

Let freedom ring

It's Independence Day. A day to celebrate our freedom with flags, barbecues and fireworks.

Do we ever really think about our freedoms with a real sense of gratitude for the men and women who have fought for them? I'm as guilty as the next person. I love having the day off and, until recently, didn't give it much deeper thought.

For a time after Sept. 11, we were all patriotic, flag-waving Americans. Again, I'm guilty of jumping on that bandwagon. It wasn't until I had a family member in the service, that I truly appreciated what was being done on behalf of our nation.

The conflict in Iraq has turned my nephew Matthew into a freedom fighter. It also quickly turned a boy into a man -- one who, I imagine, will forever be haunted by the images of violence and death and memories of his actions as a U.S. Marine.

I was thrilled to learn the other day that Matt is finally back in the states -- to stay -- after tours of duty in Iraq and, most recently, Afghanistan. Naturally, my sister Renell and her two daughters are pleased to have their Matty home. Much more so, I'm sure, is his bride of less than a year. They can now move on with their lives together.

It is with a grateful heart I think about what Matthew has endured and thankfully survived. I think about my nephew Tony, a recent high school grad and new Army man, and what he has yet to experience. And I proudly wear my red, white and blue today. America thanks you!