Year One in the Rearview Mirror

A year ago at this time, I was shedding tears left and right as I struggled through the last of our baby's "lasts" of senior year in preparation for graduation. How was I going to live in my empty nest?

How indeed?

Strangely, after struggling through the first few weeks – OK, months – of empty nesting last fall, the time went crazy fast. I can't believe today was Carter's final final of his freshman year at UW-Platteville.

Made the trek down there myself since hubby had to coach baseball this afternoon. I brought some totes and a large suitcase so I could help College Boy pack the last of his clothes into those. All of it was clean, some fresh out of the dryer! He had everything else good to go. Pretty much. So we got it loaded in 4 trips each to the CRV.

His RA officially checked him out and we were on the road heading home by 2 p.m. with Platteville and Year One in the rearview mirror.

For the first time ever, he didn't sleep on the trip so we could actually have a conversation – when I wasn't compelled to sing along to an '80s station I found on the radio. Got home a little after 5 and he was out of the house by 6:30. I told him I didn't need to capture all of his time the first night because he's here all summer.

How unlike me. Is it possible to turn off the Clingy Empty Nester switch so easily? I guess we'll see at the end of the summer. But take heart, current parents of seniors, you will get through this. Don't skip through the tears of sadness, joy, pride and grief. They are all part of the process! And necessary, I think.

A year from now you'll be picking up your Finals Week survivor and their piles of stuff and they will tell you, too, that they feel like high school was a lifetime ago.

On that I can agree.

Sweet Emotion

Nothing so accurately reflects the mother-son-school role reversal than the cartoon above. I have seen this several times over the years but it didn't hit home until today. As my sister pointed out, though, Carter was always anxious to go to school. It appears that I am the one who has held on tightly. I am the one who needed to let go.

And I had to today without a choice.

Of course, it was as emotional as I expected. I wasn't even out the door yet to leave and I was already a basket case. I made the mistake of running back in the house to take a quick sweeping glance at his room to be sure he didn't forget anything major.

I'm the one who forgot something. I forgot looking at his empty room would remind me it is going to stand empty awhile. Uff da. Good thing hubby packed two boxes of tissues in the CRV.

We hit the road before 8 a.m. and since Carter was up late last night, this afforded me one more chance to take a picture of him sleeping. I just had to.

Of course, right when we are getting to town, the old Scorpions' song Winds of Change plays on the radio, so that set off more tears. "The future's in the air. I can feel it everywhere. Blowing with the wind of change..."

This is Carter's new home for the next 9 months. He is in Porter Hall, which is co-ed plus a mix of freshmen and upperclassmen. We got there just a little after his roommate (from Madison) did. We had a few challenges getting Carter's loft assembled, but the bigger challenge was finding room for everything.

This is his new digs. And it's a living space reality check, that's for sure. Our CRV wasn't even that packed. I have no idea where the people with U-Hauls today plan to put all their stuff!! The room does have the essentials, though: bed, desk, dresser, book shelf and fridge. Between Carter and his roommate, they have a TV, comfy chairs and at least 2 gaming systems.

Today was the first time he got to meet Reed, a randomly picked roommate. They are both going into engineering, but of course, that is not uncommon at UW-Platteville!

As a side note, Carter does know a few people from the Rapids area who are freshmen, too. Luckily, for one of them, we didn't take off too early this morning. His Assumption classmate forgot her UW-P ID at home so her poor sister had to wake up at the crack of dawn and run it over to our house so we could bring it with us. It all worked out in the end but made us paranoid about forgetting things!

Didn't need to go out and buy anything. Had a quick lunch together at DQ and I couldn't get much past that lump in my throat. We shared a private moment in the car that reminded me again how lucky we are to have him. Then it was time for the real goodbye.

Yes, I hugged hard. Yes, I told him I was proud. Yes, I tried to make this HIS moment, too. I just couldn't choke back the sobs. After one final hug on the front steps of the dorm, we walked away. I remember something I read this week that advised: "Don't look back." When you say goodbye, walk away and do not turn around. Do not anchor yourself to him to hold him back like that cartoon. Keep moving forward and let him go.

Naturally, I was sobbing like a hot mess before I was even halfway to the car. Sorry I couldn't surprise you with a different ending like, "I really held it together."

It did get better by the mile. We took a scenic route home and I was breathing normally and without waterworks after an hour or so. And Jim, though he was dealing with emotion, too, was my rock.

I did remind Carter that the "miners" M on the hill outside of Platteville actually serves as a reminder to call MOM. Ha.

I was proud that I waited a full 3 hours after our departure to text him. I had to text him "goodnight" tonight, too. And he's doing fine. I knew that he would. Doesn't stop the flow of bittersweet emotions, but it helps.

That and ice cream. I told you the ending is predictable!

Onward.

Right Wing or Left Wing?

This leaving the nest business is starting to get real. I don't know if Carter has his left wing out or the right one, but he is slowly edging his way out of the nest.

Today, he got his dorm room and roommate assignment for freshman year at UW-Platteville! We've been waiting for it, knowing they were releasing assignments in mid-July and expecting them by Friday.

So he has a roommate from Madison and his residence hall is Porter Hall, which was one of his top choices since it is co-ed (ha) and considered a "renewed" traditional hall. Basically, it got renovated in 2012 with a more modern and updated look to the traditional format of their living spaces for freshman. The good news is that renewed halls offer new lighting, carpet and closet components in resident rooms for a "lighter, brighter living experience." The bad news is that the room is still smaller than his current bedroom. And he has to share it!

At least now the fun can start.

He can connect with his roommate, get to know him and, between the two of them, figure out what they are cramming into that 10 1/2 x 15 1/2-foot space! TV, chairs, futon, whatever.

They are lucky. They have a little fridge included and the option for loft rental right away. We had to build ours or buy from someone who had built and used them the year before. We also had to bring our own carpet if we wanted it instead of the hard, bare floor. No wonder our vehicles were packed to the max for move-in day!

Even though I am far from ready for him to completely escape the nest, I am very excited for him. This is a fun time in young adulthood. So many changes in store and so many fun (and expensive) things to do as we prepare.

And yes, WE are preparing. I know he'll be sure to pack his phone charger and wireless speaker, but let's not forget the notebooks, pens and laundry detergent.

Mama bird is always a buzz kill, isn't she?

Throwback Thursday

When you're scrapbooking, every day is a "Throwback Thursday." We look at all the old photos and re-live those moments in time that surround the image.

This weekend, I am at it again. My friend Becky and I have actually started our weekend already and have arrived at Scrap Camp -- located at the Waypost Camp on Mission Lake... which is rural Hatley... which is rural Bevent... which is super rural Wausau maybe? Hard to find on the map, but we found it!

My mission, if I choose to accept it (and try to accomplish it), is to get Carter's freshman year done in his High School scrapbook. Then it's starting his Life in Sports album beginning with this beauty...

Hubby and I absolutely love this photo of Carter -- his first professional sports photo, mind you, at the tender age of 4. You just want to pinch his adorable little cheeks, don't you?

I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of ooooh-ing and awww-ing this weekend.... like I do every other weekend or any day with this little cutie.

Don't tell him I called him that, though. It will be bad enough when I take pictures and share the pages with you! Someday he'll understand.

But let's not rush it.

We Interrupt this Scrapbooking Weekend to Bring You...

Even on our most productive days, interruptions aren't all bad.

Was back in town scrapping again by 8:30 this morning. Finished Carter's 5th-grade pages right away and moved onto 6th. Was almost done with that in the mid-afternoon when I got a from my sister Rachel.

On Friday, she had driven our mom down to the Cashton area to meet up with old friends. They stayed overnight and were gradually making their way back up north today. They called from the Tomah / Black River Falls area when they realized they were only an hour away from Rapids.

Probably a good thing I was "out" for the weekend, but not out of town. They met me at the hotel where I was scrapping and I drove us out to my house to see the guys.

Although I had been up north in August, Mom hadn't seen Carter (tall Carter!) or Jim since June. She was looking good and seemed to be doing OK. Visited a bit then took them out to eat. After that, it was back to the hotel, where they hit the road north and I hit the scrapbook again.

I finished 6th grade and, as a result, the 4th album in Carter's K-8 series! Yes! Now it is onto high school!

I think I am at 48 pages for the weekend so far. Now that I got that grade school book done, any work on 9th grade is just icing on the cake.

Just as sweet as having a surprise visitor on a Saturday!

College Material?

I had one of those anxious "empty nest" moments today when Carter received his first recruitment letter from a college.

And I use the word recruitment loosely.

Under the guise of a "Congratulations on your confirmation" letter, a Lutheran college in southern Wisconsin made themselves known to us. A private school? Wow we must have cleaned up good for our family confirmation picture!

While templated, it was still a nice letter "celebrating the person you are becoming"... then pointing out their mission statement and promising to be in touch "from time to time" over the next few years.

I would call it a pretty soft recruitment. I mean they sent him a key chain -- not the car to go with it.

Still, it gave me pause and I realized I am not ready for this by any stretch of the imagination.

The ironic thing is, Carter quickly proved that he isn't either. Among his homework assignments tonight he has to read 100 pages in a book... he forgot in his locker at school. Uhm...Is this kid college material? Not yet. Whew.

I'm OK with that. He gave the situation a reality check -- which this mom (who dies a little inside each time I think about my baby leaving) needed.

We'll keep the key chain, though. If nothing else, it's a reminder of what he needs to strive for and what Mom needs to be prepared for.

But let's not rush things... 100 pages down.... lots to go.

Freshman Fifteen

Typically, the "Freshman Fifteen" refers to how much weight a new college students puts on her first year. From experience, I can say it's somewhat close to the truth! In Carter's case, his "Freshman Fifteen" refers to the fact he seems to be going 15 different directions this first year of high school.

And, miraculously, keeping his sanity. (Not so sure about Dad and Mom, though!)

Cross Country had no more than wrapped up on Monday, when we had Parent-Teacher Conferences on Tuesday, followed by Confirmation rehearsal tonight! The only reason we can keep up with him is because we are the ones driving!

We were pleased to discover his first grading period went well and that his teachers find him a "pleasure to have in class." Most said he was very good about class participation, not afraid to speak (hmm, whose child is that?) and ask or answer questions. This is important to hear. Knowing our child is respectful of his teachers and classmates is just as important as good grades. We are blessed he has accomplished both. So far.

Just as his high school career begins, Carter's christian education at church wraps up with Confirmation this coming Sunday. I should clarify -- his Lutheran christian education -- since he continues to have a Religion class at Assumption every year as one of his "core" classes.

We had a quick rehearsal tonight and class photo. There will be 9 students getting confirmed Sunday. Basically we had to run through what they had to do up front, what us parents had to do and the role of the mentor and godparents. Of course, the pastor also reminded the kids not to stand and "lock their knees" so they won't faint. That's what we need is THAT idea in Carter's head! Too late. He's already thinking about it.

I hope he can put that behind him, too!

So let's see, that's 3 different directions so far.... Tomorrow we'll need to give him a ride to school since the public school is off and there is no busing. On Friday he has no school and is invited to a bonfire party. On Saturday, he has a surprise costume/birthday party and then Sunday is confirmation.

When does he have time to eat and sleep??

Not sure. But at this rate, he has no chance of gaining that freshman fifteen. Let's hope no one else in the house does either!

A Fresh Man

Today was the first day of school -- HIGH SCHOOL -- for Carter. Now I know why they call them freshman. This is the age they get fresh with the girls and talk fresh to their parents... which means we could be in for a long year!

It started out OK, though. Today was a shortened day so Carter didn't have to start until 8:30 instead of 7:30. So, of course, that left plenty of time for the obligatory scrapbook photos!

A second-generation Austin is now at Assumption High School. Here Dad and Carter represent the classes of '81 and '16!

 No tippy toes! See that smirk on his face? He doesn't need to stand on tippy toes to be taller than Mom. Sigh.

There he goes, entering the halls of high school, getting a fresh start on a new year and new demands.

Tonight he was feeling pretty positive about the first day. There are several new teachers in the school -- well all the high school ones are new to him -- and he had good things to say about most of them. Ha. Probably all but I think he's reserving judgment on a few.

Otherwise it was good to get that first day over with and get back into the groove of seeing friends, I mean studying.

Did I cry? Nope. Came awfully close when we were driving away after dropping him off and hubby says, "I wonder where we'll be driving him 4 years from now when we take him to college."

Oh boy. One day at a time.

Final Instructions

With the start of high school exactly one week away (yikes), we received our final instructions tonight at a freshman orientation meeting.

The meeting itself did not tell us much of anything we didn't already know -- since our nephew Colin just graduated -- but there was still something shocking about hearing words like "GPA," "ACT tests" and "college applications." This is just the beginning AND the final stretch at the same time. Uff da. That's the part I'm not ready for.

The question is: Is Carter?

He doesn't seem stressed about it. Yet. We just hope he was listening when they spoke about the importance of homework, grades and not falling behind. It really is not that much of a change from Middle School -- since he's already had a few high school classes and has been playing with the high school band since 7th grade. He's a had a few new teachers each year so that won't be that big of an adjustment either.

Probably the main thing will be the layout of the land, so to speak. His locker is on the 3rd floor! They must just do that to torture freshman, but he'll have to learn a bit about time management and definitely not be late to school. Who wants to sprint up 3 flights of stairs first thing in the morning? I wouldn't.

There's still about 2 girls to every boy ratio in his class so that will be business, as usual. And what I mean by that is NO business!

Now I have to fill out a bunch of registration-related paper work so he is all set to start this next chapter of his life.

The question is: Am I?

Athletic Supporter

When I called home this afternoon to check in on Carter and make sure he was ready for his ride to cross country practice, he asked if we planned to go to the volleyball game tonight.

First, I was surprised there was an official game this early in the season. Secondly, I was surprised (but shouldn't have been) that he knew about it. Here is a boy who can't remember to make his bed in the morning but he's apparently got the girls' volleyball schedule memorized!

I knew hubby didn't want to go but since I haven't gotten my "daughter fix" for awhile, I agreed to take Carter. Actually, he just had to stay late after practice since the freshman and JV teams were playing at 6 p.m. And not so surprisingly, his 3 classmate/teammates also stayed for the games.

Who knew 14-year-old boys liked volleyball that much?

I had to laugh. They were so casual about it. Like they were really just athletic supporters, so to speak. But I saw right through that -- especially when they planted themselves on the bleachers right in front of the Freshman game. Then our freshman football players joined them when their practice was done, too.

I'll admit, it was fun to watch, too, to see who had talent and who was going to be playing JV already on their way up to varsity. And, naturally, visiting with other classmate moms is always a plus.

I'm glad we went. The girls must have appreciated all the extra athletic support, too, because all 3 of our teams won. Hopefully we'll get to another few games this season.

I'll just have to ask Carter when they are.