We've all been schooled since we were children that "It is better to give than receive." At what point do we believe it, though? It's tough to buy in to as a child and oftentimes as an adult -- I mean I still love Christmas and my birthday!
Yesterday my pastor had a good sermon about this basic principal about giving and not receiving. He shared the lesson about not just inviting your friends over for dinner because you know they'll invite you over the next time. Invite someone over who you know will never be able to return the favor. Do we ever give without expecting something in return?
That got me thinking about how selfish we are by nature. I am as guilty of this as the next person. I do often give freely of my time and talents, but what if I never got recognition for it? Would I still do it? I would hope so, but I don't know. I like doing things for people, but I also like the warm-fuzzy feeling of their heartfelt thanks. Deep down, I guess I want credit for it, too.
You've heard of "random acts of kindness" right? You do something nice for someone but don't let them know you are the person who did it. Just enjoy the fact you could brighten their day. It's a wonderful concept to get us out of ourselves. A friend of mine mentioned recently he strives to do at least one random act of kindness every day. I admire that and wonder if I could do it.
Today Carter and I cleaned his closet and dresser and filled up two bags of clothes he can give to someone smaller than him. In this case, the recipient will know he is receiving the "gift" so to speak from Carter, but we expect nothing in return. That's a great place to start. As selfish as Carter (and most kids) can be at times, he does enjoy giving to others. "I think XX will love this shirt like I did," he'd say. He enjoyed our project today -- just not enough to do my closet as well (which is next on the list!).
I think I will have to start this "no return" policy with baby steps. Can I decorate that co-worker's desk for her birthday without trumpeting to the world that I did it? Can I drop off clothes at the domestic abuse shelter without taking credit? How hard would it be to just give some money to the church once without having it in my personalized envelope?
I challenge each of you to think of some way to give without demanding or expecting something in return. If you need some inspiration, watch the movie "Pay it Forward." Just think for a minute how pleasurable it feels to get something unexpected (whether it's a material thing or the gift of someone's time). Doesn't it make you want to share that feeling with the next person down the line?
I think it's worth a try. How 'bout you?
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2 comments:
thanks Robyn! that was some wise words. Our pastor talked about the same thing. Invite the poor, disabled, blind and don't expect anything in return. don't invite your friends etc. to get reinvited. It makes sense. we just fall away from it. I too like to get recognized for what I do or feel offended at times if I don't get the thank you I expected. That's not the right attitude.I too will take baby steps with you like we did as toddlers. I'll hold your hand if you hold mine. Lene
Thanks for the wake-up call. Why is it so hard for us to do something for someone else without getting recognized? And when I do something like last nite, take my parents out to eat & Tony, & my husband (who was home & has been doctoring for 5 days)asked in a not so nice way, "Well, did u take everyone out to eat?!" I replied, no, but we spend ove $25 on us 2 going out, why can't I take my folks out once every 6 months?! We all need to do something, with a happy, unselfish heart. So I will do something, but I won't write about it, or tell you! This was a realistic example of the real human nature. Luv, Romey
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