OMMG (Oh Mother Memories, Goodness!)

My cousin shared this picture of my mom and of a Facebook "memory" from about 7 years ago. This is what she wrote then and why I miss my momma every day...

"Had a spontaneous visit with my Aunt Marlys. Davis and I were driving by and saw her out in the yard tending to her flowers. It was nice to visit for a few minutes. She told Davis how she remembered the day he was born. His Uncle Lloyd was painting her house at the time and got a call that Davis has arrived. 

She also told of how when she was little her teacher asked the students to pick milk weed pods to help support the war effort. She said she went home and picked two gunny sacks full. “Daddy had to take me to school that next Monday because I couldn’t carry them”.  I guess they were used to make parachutes and life preservers. 

Marlys said the teacher mentioned that she should have offered an award for the student who brought the most. She said, “ I thought - ‘that’s right, she should have’...”. That was probably the start of her efforts to help others.  Marlys should start recording all her memories - such a sweetheart!"

I definitely remember that Mom collected all that milk weed. It was an intriguing story. But I don't think that was when I realized that Mom was so competitive. I think we all inherited that. Well me with BINGO etc.

Just remember that no matter what you think or learn from your mother, appreciate it! If she is not here, you'll appreciate one minute with her for a story or a memory!

Just Go With The Flow of Happiness

It's crazy what makes us happy – or mildly content. For me after two evenings and mornings on my sister's back deck, I was thrilled to capture one hummingbird in action. Though the bird is not in clear focus.

Still... yay!

The focus of the weekend was getting to my sister RoAnn's on Saturday so we could see he granddaughter – my great-niece – Kenlee dance in her recital Sunday.

Let me just say, that was the most awesome experience! You were so good, girl!

In addition to her fans who were there to cheer her on, we all had a late lunch with Sunday. Then, it was a nice relaxing treat at my sister's to just relax by the "fire" in the evenings on the back deck.

Today I headed home and seeing my parents' grave was the only non-detour. Was glad about that. Also it had been pouring rain and it stopped for approximately 8 minutes so I could visit Mom and Dad and then it started within seconds. It was insane. So grateful!

As for the rest of the weekend... I am thrilled to be back home safely (with some parts only $4 per gallon of gas)... and craving to do more for more my nieces and nephews. A project for another day!

Second Time Around

Today was mama's second birthday in heaven! A couple things occurred to me. First, she looks amazing for a 94-year-old, doesn't she? Second, how can it be almost two years already since we lost her?

As much I loved Dad and dearly miss him, Mom is the one I keep thinking of calling up to tell her about a good pun I heard, brag about my win at BINGO, or suggest we watch Wheel of Fortune over the phone together. And this is every day. 

While talking to a coworker today who lost her mom within weeks of mine, we both commented how this was still our current reality. I said, "Lucky us! Look how blessed we are to have had these relationships!"

There was a time I would never say we're cut from the same cloth. But then I grew up and learned appreciation. And recognized similarities. We both love the clever humor, the correct use of the English language, creative writing, and definitely, as mentioned yesterday, the need to make putzy desserts. 

She'll be proud to see I came home with an empty trifle dish today! Me too if I ever want to look like her in this photo! That gene never hit me.

Cherish your loved ones while they're here! 💖

A Not-So Trifle Tuesday

How can it be only Tuesday when it's been a whirlwind week at work already? Monday was crazy because I worked from home in the morning, then had to be in the office in the early afternoon (I was accidentally a stunt double for myself plus a hand model, LOL), then back home before an end-of-day meeting.

With the caveat that I needed to log off in time for my VIP meeting with my hair artist!

I don't know how the timing all worked out to my favor, but it did! 

But in the midst of all this, Boy Wonder (aka Mr. Smooth) was going to call us at an appointed time for a "chat." This meant all kinds of scenarios in the brains of Papa and Mama Smooth – from general "catch-up" convo to marriage proposal. I mean, who knows?

We were thrilled to learn that the sentence that started with "We have news..." ended with his girlfriend securing a full-time job in the fashion industry with Maurices. Guess where their headquarters are? Way the heck up in Duluth of all places. Who knew?

So today while I was "working" I had to dedicate some time to reach out to any and all Duluth connections to guide these young professionals in their housing situation. Sketchy versus good neighborhoods, etc. Got lots of information and where to and where not to go, and a few rental bites. But we're working on it.

I say "we" though they didn't ask me and might not want my intervention. But there comes a point in life you know people in a lot of places, and if you did them good, they'll do you a solid too. So we'll see.

Tonight my one task was a birthday trifle for my supervisor, who shares a birthday with my mom. I can't ever let this NOT happen because I'm sure she's up in heaven saying, "Yes, for me, you must do a putzy, layered dessert to earn the adoration of your club / neighbors / friends / co-workers."

On it, Mom!

This one: Chocolate brownies, topped with... white chocolate pudding with peanut butter power mixed in, then... diced up Nutty Buddy bars, and the top... whipped cream with mini Reese's PB Cups on top.

I do have to call out it took me 5 stores to find the Reese's THINS these days.. Festival Foods for the win. Just needed to cut them half for one outside layer around the bowl.

I think my "be sure to make this a putzy, layered dessert" is accomplished.

Continue to guide me on these important quests, Mama! 💗

 

Playing Through

It was probably appropriate that the first night of ladies golf league started today, on the one-year anniversary of my mom's death. Because I really needed the distraction!

I actually worked from home today because I had graduation practice this morning (Stop on the X and smile tomorrow!) and figured it would take too much drive time for me to be productive at work. I also predicted that since I did not handle my first Mother's Day well (or not at all) that I'd be a hot mess.

All of this was mostly true.

As I posted this photo today, I said... 365 days without you, Mom. That's 365 moments I've wanted to call you with a funny pun, solve a Wheel of Fortune puzzle together, wanted to play cards with you, wanted to hug you. What I wouldn't give for one on those childhood walks in the woods with you! 

I guess 6 of my 7 siblings got together Up North to honor Mom over dinner. But my one sister was traveling and I didn't get enough notice to travel 4 hours to meet them. 

Again, that's why it's good I had golf league with a friend and we played "against" 2 other friends of mine. They knew my head-space and were supportive. We won't talk about my golf score. There seems to be a pattern of my sucking big time on "Mom" days.

I'm guessing my angel momma is looking over me for far bigger issues! Love and miss you! 💔

Oh, Mother!

 

Upon awakening, I was confident I could get through this first Mother'sDay without my momma. I wore my own "Mother's Necklace" and my mom's "Mother's Ring" to church. 

But I confess. I was sobbing before I left the driveway. So much for being strong! When I got to church, thank goodness my friend Kelly, also experiencing her first Mother's Day without her mom, gave me half her tissues. Because you know, every reading and song (and that dang Mother's Day video) will remind you of Mom!

God, bless my amazing husband for trying to keep me positively occupied all day!

Got home from church and this adorable balloon was floating in the kitchen...

Anchored by these gorgeous flowers! I was going to say Tulips but the last time I called flowers that, this black-thumbed momma was corrected. So let's just call them beautiful.

After asking me yesterday where I wanted to enjoy a Mother's Day brunch, I had a few places in mind. But then, on our drive home, we remember Two Lakes is open on Sundays now. One check to see if today counted and we were on our way.

They had a special Mother's Day menu but all I cared was that they now serve their beyond amazing Coconut Shrimp every day. Happy Mother's Day to me!

Later this afternoon, we ventured over to TriCity for some Mother's Day golf. 

I love that all of us Foxy Mamas could golf. But it didn't take long for me to realize my spirit wasn't in it. Nothing spoils that good walk like bad – or in my case, sad – attitude. We did have some fun. But I was dropping tears more often than I was dropping putts.

A year ago, all 8 of us R's gathered to clean out Mom's apartment since she was actually excited to move into the nursing home part of the hospital in Grantsburg. She was excited to have a roommate, too, after living by herself since Dad died 10+ years earlier. We were happy for her acceptance about moving out of her apartment. And really thought we'd be seeing her in the home for quite some time.

The quick, downward slide of her health after Mother's Day shocked me and devastated me. 

While it officially hasn't been 365 days since Mom's passing, nothing impacts me more than missing her today – Mother's Day. 

My only saving grace really, is that I got to hug the one flesh-and-blood baby that is mine yesterday. 💜

Happy Mother's Day to all of you missing your mom for the first (or many) time. And to you who have kids, wanted children, lost babies, act as an inspiration to a young person, or serve as a mentor to ANYONE. This day belongs to all of us. 

No shame. Embrace the love!

In the Blink of an Eye

Pardon any photos that might be too graphic. A year ago today my sister Rachel was on her way to Easter weekend services at church in Minnesota when an approaching car crossed the center line and hit her head-on. 

When fire department personnel and paramedics arrived, it took an hour for them to extract her and her passenger (friend Brian) with the hopes that at least one of them – hopefully both – would survive. Honestly, it was touch and go. The med flight from the accident scene to the Twin Cities included some emergency blood transfusions just to keep Rach alive.

Brian had a fractured pelvis and a shorter, but still painful, hospitalization and recovery. For my sister, there were literally months of time in the ICU at Regions Hospital where we all took turns visiting – and you, my prayer warriors, were with me on those journeys. Thank you!

Three months after the accident, Rachel could finally return home. But it was during that time that my mom had her own home accident and ended up in a nursing home, then hospital, then passed away. We waited until Rachel was able to attend a funeral – months later – and that's where that top photo is from. All of us together – and our wardrobes giving a nod to Mom's love of flowers.

Today, Rachel is not out of the woods. She's fighting an infection from some of her new internal hardware. And, once that's clear, needs to have major surgery on that left leg that didn't heal at the correct angle.

What I've learned from this is that we can never take even the tiniest of moment of our lives for granted. Never take your family, your friends, your job, your health, your home, the air you breathe for granted. Life can change in the blink of an eye!

I also learned that when I reach out to friends and family – even strangers, there is an army of prayer warriors just waiting to support us, whether they've met my sister or not.

We so appreciate all of you for not only praying during the immediate crisis, but continually asking "How is your sister?" It means the world to all of us. And God is definitely listening. 

In turn, I pray none of you have to go through anything remotely as stressful and painful as this. Treasure each minute of each day!

The First Birthday Without You

This is the first time in my entire life that I could not wish my mom "Happy Birthday" via phone, card, or in person. It hurts.  

When we celebrated her birthday last year and she was smiling and enjoying her cake, we had no idea this was her last birthday. Never take your parents for granted!

And of course, just like 3 days before she died in May, she was a card-playing wizard!

Her youngest grandson happened to beat her that day, yet she still smiled because anytime with children and grandchildren was so treasured.

Of course I am crying as I type this because we just never know when it's the last time we are all "normal." We could never have predicted that the next weekend – Easter – would include a head-on collision that nearly claimed my sister's life and that a few weeks later my mom would fall and that signaled enough problems to end her life.

I appreciate that Mom can finally celebrate a birthday in heaven with Dad. But knowing how her birthday was the beginning of the end is a tough pill to swallow. 

Don't feel bad for me. I just ask that if you have one or two parents still alive that you treasure them!

Be a Blessing

I had pretty special start to my day. I got to attend Mass at the high school. For a personal reason. 

They did their mass intention (I believe it's called) to honor my mom's memory. Yes, MY mom!

Did anyone in the school system know her? No. Did it matter that Mom (and me) are Lutheran, not Catholic? No. Did they do this because Jim and I are part of the Assumption family?

100% yes.

I felt so moved by the gesture. Especially having purple flowers (my mom's favorite) blooming in front of the school. Well done. And thanks for sharing a message of hope during the service. 

Something we can hang onto while we continue to grieve. Her memory truly is a blessing.

Different Kind of Fall Colors

Most of us love the colors of autumn. Of course, the warm hues of maple leaves come to mind first. But today, there were some different colors for me.

First of all, the faded yellow rose each of us 8 kids received at Mom's funeral a month ago. I know it's time to go out with this week's trash. But I'm grateful to feel her presence in my kitchen for a few weeks.

And while I can't keep up with what's happening on the planet, I appreciated this colorful drive home after a photo shoot tonight.

I was definitely confined to the views I could catch on the drive home. 

In fact, when I pulled over to catch this shot, helpful pickup drivers from both directions were concerned if I had car trouble since I had my flashers on. I am quite sure they had no appreciation for my answer that "I just stopped over to take a picture of the ball of fire in the sky."

Their loss, right? I mean, talk about glorious fall colors!

Of course, there was a sliver of a moon making his presence known simultaneously. No offense, Mr. Moon. I just need to soak in the shades of autumn first!

Hope you all got a glimpse of something pretty today!

Those Picture Boards

After talking (well maybe whining a little) about scanning photos and designing the picture boards for Mom's service, I thought I should share what we had on display yesterday. For the main picture boards, I  used my graphic design program to fit them to be printed out as 20- by 30-inch posters. (You can get those printed same day at Walgreens!)

This reflected Mom's growing up years with her parents and three sisters.

This was a representation of Mom and Dad's 63 years of marriage before he passed 11 years ago.

The 8 R's in the early years and then some. Plus at least one fave photo of each of us with Mom.

The treasured grandchildren!

A reflection of some of Mom's creativity and her desire to have fun!

My sister Romey also put together a board displaying some of her many fair ribbons, plus poetry and other writing samples.

We had a framed picture of one those rare moments all 10 of us were smiling at the same time!

And my brother Ron put together a picture book with very nice photos of Mom.

Like I said, I am sure she looked down and was very pleased that we took such care of representing her long and full life!

Goals, right?

P.S. I slept in today and am pretty much exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally drained. I'm sure we all are. Olympics are done so this girl is hitting the hay in short order! Have a great week!

Bringing Joy to Others

We laid Momma to rest today. After a lovely memorial service in a church filled with people whose lives she touched. She would have absolutely loved it.

The theme for today – as you'll see in our group photo later – was anything floral (she had two green thumbs!) and her favorite color purple (except not the Vikings).

My nephew Eric read the eulogy and everyone in attendance was quite familiar with Mom's love of writing and sending out cards for birthdays, anniversarys, and other special occasions – and letters to raise funds for the annual Cancer Walk in Luck.

Mom always said she was most comfortable with a pen in hand – and her penmanship was immaculate. I may have gotten the gift of writing from her, but not the gift of penmanship!

In her words, "Of course I like to write. That's why I feel the need to keep on writing to people for as long as my hand will do it. Someday my hand will be still and I can't do that anymore. If there's something that comes easy to you, do it. See if will bring some joy to someone else."

She sure did that! Something we all should strive for, if you ask me.

For special music, our cousins Laryn and Lydell sang, "Why me, Lord" and the church soloist sang Mom's favorite song from her record player days, "One Day at a Time" by Marilyn Sellars. Both songs were beautiful. And of course the closing "How Great Thou Art" had me sobbing uncontrollably, per usual.

The luncheon was a nice to catch up with so many cousins and the amazing people who traveled from Wisconsin Rapids, Milwaukee and Madison to support me and my family. Thanks, Clay, Becca, Baird, Sherry, Mike, Christine, and Julie. Love you all!

Since the service was held at larger church in Grantsburg, we headed down to our tiny home church, Laketown Lutheran, for the burial.

When Dad died, he wanted the grandkids to dig the hole for his urn. Mom wanted the same and this time the little great-grandchildren lent a hand with the shovels. 

After some words from the pastor, my twin Raylene and I were honored to lower Mom's urn into a resting place beside Dad. 

We had 8 yellow roses at the service representing the 8 R's – and had 3 white roses in memory of the babies Mom lost – a full set of twins and Rachel's twin brother, all who died shortly after birth. Raylene and I placed the white roses around Mom's urn, knowing she is once again united with her angel babies.

Did I mention there was a lot of crying?

We did manage some smiles, though, for out group photos...

The 8 R's and our floral palooza.

The OG 11 grandchildren all grown up!

And some but not all of the great-grand littles.

We were all pretty sure that by the time we pulled out of the church driveway, Mom and Dad (who loved to dance) were already Waltzing Across Texas!

Thanks to all of you who came in person today or sent cards and texts of support. It means the world to us.

Just like Mom did. 

In her gratitude journal on March 25, 2022, she wrote: "Today I turned 90. How did I get this far? ONE DAY AT A TIME, I guess."

Rest in peace, Momma. You deserve it!

A Way-Back Weekend

It was definitely a Saturday and Sunday living in the way-back machine as I finished up my mom's picture boards for her memorial service this Saturday. Finally finished this afternoon! Whew. 

This lovely gem from my parents' 25th wedding anniversary party was left on the cutting room floor, so to speak, but I had to share it. 

As I came home tonight after a senior photo shoot in the high temp-high humidity stratosphere, I was reminded that even after a painful night's sleep wearing curlers, that's still the best my hair (I'm on the left) could do! 

Some non-traditional volume but most getting straighter and flatter by the hour!

What I do love about this picture, though, is the my sister Rachel in the middle is smiling. And today she had another reason to smile. She finally got back to church – in person – after getting in her head-on collision March 30 on her way to Saturday Easter services. Praise the Lord! A walking, er rolling, miracle!

When I wasn't messing with photos, I was of course catching some Olympic action. I especially tuned into today's 100M men's final. Noah Lyles. Wow. But Kenny Bednarek – who hails from east Luck, er Rice Lake, Wisconsin – only finished something like a 100th of a second behind him. He finished 7th, which goes to show you how close that race was. Yay, USA! 

Even though I definitely need a shower before bed, I better tune in to see what else I missed. 

P.S. Thank god for central air!!!

Reality Check

Since my sister Rachel is out of the hospital and recovering, we've finally set a date for Mom's memorial service. So on August 10th, it will start to feel REAL.

Actually it is already since I volunteered to scan in photos of Mom for the picture boards and the computer screen. The picture above is from her early 20s, I'm guessing. Trim and fashionable in those roll-up jeans. I love it! 

In fact, there are a ton of images that make me say, "Wow, Mom was pretty and knew how to have fun!" Why don't we ever think of our moms that way? They were young once, too, and enjoyed their pre-K (pre-kids) life!

So I'll be busy with this task this weekend but the funeral service info is now live here: https://memorials.swedberg-taylor.com/marlys-hedberg/5434811/index.php. Or you can read it here....

Marlys Victoria Hedberg, age 92, passed away on May 22, 2024, at Burnett Medical Center, Grantsburg, WI, surrounded by family.

A memorial service will be held at 11 a.m., Saturday, August 10, at Faith Lutheran Church in Grantsburg. Visitation will be held one hour prior to the service.

Marlys was born on Good Friday, March 25, 1932, to Ernie and Florence (Larson) Johnson in the town of Daniels, Burnett County, Wisconsin. She attended grade school at Siren, Wood Creek and Alpha and high school at Grantsburg, making many lifetime friendships. Marlys held part-time jobs at Daniels Seed Farm near Grantsburg, Duncan Yo-Yo in Luck, and Stokely’s in Frederic.

On July 2, 1949, she married LeRoy Hedberg and to this union were born 11 children (including three sets of twins.) They lived in Grantsburg until 1960 and moved to Cushing for LeRoy’s job. When her youngest two were in high school, Marlys began working at the United Pioneer Home in Luck in the laundry department until her retirement at age 62.

Marlys was mainly a stay-at-home mother who loved music, dancing, performing in the Pleasant Valley Kitchen Band, baking, and being creative with sewing and crafts. She had a green thumb and entered countless plants along with her delicious baked goods in the Polk County Fair. Marlys loved to write letters and send out cards for birthdays and anniversaries. She was an active fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. Each year she strived to raise more money, usually being one of the top individual fundraisers for the Luck/Frederic Cancer Walk. This was a cause near and dear to her heart as she lost her father and a sister to cancer. Marlys and LeRoy were also actively involved with the Sterling-Eureka-Laketown Historical Society.

For fun, Marlys liked to play solitaire and even more so, enjoyed playing cards and other games with her children and their families— who always knew when she had a winning hand as she started humming. She also enjoyed watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune daily on her TV. Family was important to Marlys. The gatherings with her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren brought her so much joy, as well as attending many Johnson and Hedberg family gatherings over the years and hosting some sledding and Halloween parties at their home.

Although Marlys didn’t graduate high school, she earned her GED certificate in 1969 and she was an active participant in the Class of 1950’s reunions. Both she and LeRoy believed strongly in education and instilled this value in their children.

Marlys and LeRoy and family were active members of Laketown Lutheran Church, participating in the Women of ELCA and the annual Fall Bazaar. This will be her final resting place.

After LeRoy’s passing in 2013, Marlys remained in their home until January 2018 when she moved to Courtyard Square apartments in Grantsburg. She remained independent until April 2024 when she became hospitalized and moved to the Continuing Care Center at Burnett Medical Center.

Marlys was preceded in death by her parents; her husband of 63 years, LeRoy; two infant sons; one infant daughter; a grandson, Bryan Chalstrom; sisters Melvina Washbon, Violet Peck, and Virginia Larson; a son-in-law Paul Delaney; sisters-in-law Gladys, Audrey, Betty, and Gwen; and brothers-in-law Dudley and Ray.

Marlys is survived by her children, Rayna Delaney, Romey (Rick) Nelson, Renell Pagel, RoAnn (Ken) Goor, Ronald Hedberg, Rachel Hedberg, Robyn (Jim) Austin, and Raylene (Steve) Swanson; grandchildren, Eric Nelson (Stephanie), Caryn (Michelle) Chalstrom, Matthew (Kristina) Chalstrom, Beth (Anders) Hopkins, Timothy Goor (Tawnie), Travis Goor (Michelle), David (Sara) Hedberg, Zachary (Liana) Hedberg, Carter Austin (Mamie), Tony Soderquist, and Ashley Swanson (Devan); step-grandchildren, Dawn, James, Casey, Clayton, Joshua, James, and Jesse; great-grandchildren, Anthony, Adryan, Makayla, Michael, Nash, Quinn, Hans, Nils, Tyler, Tyson, Trey, Teegan, Khloe, Linus, Millie, Arlo, Audrey and Kenlee. She is also survived by brothers-in-law, Hartley (Alice) Hedberg and Charles (Sally) Hedberg, sister-in-law Barb Hedberg, cousins Ardyce and Myrna, and many nieces, nephews and friends.

Arrangements were entrusted to Swedberg-Taylor Funeral Home.

Thanks for all your prayers! 

Memorial Daze

This has been a crazy week – and it's only Wednesday. Monday – a holiday – was a bit of a blur as we went to Golden Sands to watch our nephew Colin race. And the feature got rained out.

Looking at these clouds, it was obvious something was headed to the track. But they got 30 laps in for the Trickle 99 before the heavens opened up and we all bailed.

Not sure if they'll reschedule that particular race so we can pretend Colin won, right?

Memorial Day was also kind of tough because it was the 11-year anniversary of my dad's death – and it was Memorial Day that year, too! My twin sister Raylene shared this picture of Dad entertaining her while Mom fixed something on my dress on baptism day. Now that they're both in heaven together, I sure hope they aren't worried about us twinsies!

Tuesday was the return to the office after several days. I love, love my team and co-workers but it's not always emotionally stable to receive their love in return. (Thankfully the lovely gift from my writing team was delivered on Saturday!)

I got this adorable purple "pocket hug" – which I'm going to have to rely on my hooker friends to figure out how to crochet and teach me! Such a sweet sentiment.

Speaking of purple, my Mad Town Girls (as I call them) sent me a care package through inter-office mail from our Madison office with every purple candy they could find. So sweet. Literally!

Then unrelated to any sorrow, it just happens that I finally won the Survivor pool in our department! This wonderful hand-crafted trophy plu$ $ome ca$h!

My friend Nancy wasn't thrilled to hand it over. But hey, give it 365 days and things may change! (P.S. I have yet to watch an episode!)

Last night I was disappointed that my golf outing at SentryWorld in Stevens Point was rained out. But it wasn't raining at Robinson Park in Wisconsin Rapids, so I got to see this home-run celebration as our Lady Royals softball team moves unto the sectional final Thursday!

The only bummer was that our "temporary pet" for the weekend had to return home last night. The good news is that his human momma had a successful surgery so now he can cheer her up while she recovers and conquers her next challenges.

Today ushered in a few more expressions of sympathy from work friends, but also this good news...

My sister Rachel is moving from the Surgical Care Unit to the Physical Rehabilitation area of Regions Hospital! I can't comprehend how long the past 2 months have been for her as she's gotten to this point, but she'll definitely need your prayers for strength as she tackles this serious uphill climb to return strength to all her limbs and move forward.

Thanks so much for all of you who have been praying for both my mom and sister. The power of prayer has carried our family so far. I'll admit I'm pretty weak without it. Thank you!