Friends and Family Time

What a full and fulfilling couple of days.

I took Friday off just to get some errands done - including waiting in a forever line just save $25 on my oil change. Good thing I shut my car off or I might have gone through $25 worth of gas!

For real fun, I caught part of birthday lunch with my golf partner. I missed the golf part thanks to that stupid long line!

For fake fun, I also vacuumed my car after removing all the golf stuff and photo shoot ladders. I needed the space for some precious cargo to take Up North today.

If you want to know what love looks like, it's something like this. A car filled with 11 raffle baskets for my sister's benefit next month. It worked out conveniently to drop them off at Rachel's today (Side note: She's getting around great with a walker now!!) while we picked her up to go to our Uncle Hartley's funeral. 

On the way there, we stopped at the cemetery to visit what I always called "Dad's grave." It's so weird to think Mom's there now, too. Just hasn't sunk in. 😢

Then it was onto the funeral... The first hard part was that mere days after Uncle Hartley died, his son (and our cousin) Jeff died of cancer. So much loss!

The second hard part was that the funeral was held in the same church in Grantsburg where we just had Mom's service. Just too soon. 😭

The good part, though, was seeing so much family again. Some people I didn't get a chance to talk to at Mom's funeral. And of course, the 8 R's hadn't all been together since Mom's funeral either.

Lots of love and hugs.

Jim and I drove back tonight since we both have church obligations in the morning – he's reading at his and I'm singing at mine. Top photo was our pretty sunset drive home before two detours, darkness, then 90 minutes of intermittent fog on Deer Alley (that whole route from Osseo to Neillsville to Rapids). Grateful to be home safely!

And grateful for special times with people we care about. Hug your loved ones!

Bringing Joy to Others

We laid Momma to rest today. After a lovely memorial service in a church filled with people whose lives she touched. She would have absolutely loved it.

The theme for today – as you'll see in our group photo later – was anything floral (she had two green thumbs!) and her favorite color purple (except not the Vikings).

My nephew Eric read the eulogy and everyone in attendance was quite familiar with Mom's love of writing and sending out cards for birthdays, anniversarys, and other special occasions – and letters to raise funds for the annual Cancer Walk in Luck.

Mom always said she was most comfortable with a pen in hand – and her penmanship was immaculate. I may have gotten the gift of writing from her, but not the gift of penmanship!

In her words, "Of course I like to write. That's why I feel the need to keep on writing to people for as long as my hand will do it. Someday my hand will be still and I can't do that anymore. If there's something that comes easy to you, do it. See if will bring some joy to someone else."

She sure did that! Something we all should strive for, if you ask me.

For special music, our cousins Laryn and Lydell sang, "Why me, Lord" and the church soloist sang Mom's favorite song from her record player days, "One Day at a Time" by Marilyn Sellars. Both songs were beautiful. And of course the closing "How Great Thou Art" had me sobbing uncontrollably, per usual.

The luncheon was a nice to catch up with so many cousins and the amazing people who traveled from Wisconsin Rapids, Milwaukee and Madison to support me and my family. Thanks, Clay, Becca, Baird, Sherry, Mike, Christine, and Julie. Love you all!

Since the service was held at larger church in Grantsburg, we headed down to our tiny home church, Laketown Lutheran, for the burial.

When Dad died, he wanted the grandkids to dig the hole for his urn. Mom wanted the same and this time the little great-grandchildren lent a hand with the shovels. 

After some words from the pastor, my twin Raylene and I were honored to lower Mom's urn into a resting place beside Dad. 

We had 8 yellow roses at the service representing the 8 R's – and had 3 white roses in memory of the babies Mom lost – a full set of twins and Rachel's twin brother, all who died shortly after birth. Raylene and I placed the white roses around Mom's urn, knowing she is once again united with her angel babies.

Did I mention there was a lot of crying?

We did manage some smiles, though, for out group photos...

The 8 R's and our floral palooza.

The OG 11 grandchildren all grown up!

And some but not all of the great-grand littles.

We were all pretty sure that by the time we pulled out of the church driveway, Mom and Dad (who loved to dance) were already Waltzing Across Texas!

Thanks to all of you who came in person today or sent cards and texts of support. It means the world to us.

Just like Mom did. 

In her gratitude journal on March 25, 2022, she wrote: "Today I turned 90. How did I get this far? ONE DAY AT A TIME, I guess."

Rest in peace, Momma. You deserve it!

Family Christmas Number One

It was a white family Christmas Up North today. Well, the 4-hour commute was a bit icy and dicey in many spots, that's for sure. 

Still, we made sure to take a longer route so we could stop and see Dad.

Got to the Siren Senior Center a bit after 1 p.m. Saw this sign right away and I'm not sure who brought it, but I'm sure it was appropriate!

Had time for a little Sequence before lunch. Mom's got her game face on, that's for sure!

I made a Peppermint Bark Trifle for dessert and it stayed intact for the drive!

Did I need to make dessert? Turns out, not really. But you can never have to many desserts. Can you?

Speaking of sweets, our sweet boy Carter did a video call so Grandma could see him and his aunts, uncles and cousins, too! Virtual hugs just have to do sometimes, I guess.

Lots of littles there today. Got to meet my new great-nephew Arlo, who's about 6 months old.

It took a minute for Kloey and Nils to share. Do most 17-month-olds share? Not really!

They just need more blocks! Then it was easy to share! Such cuties!

Speaking of cuties... had to get my annual selfie with the niece who made me an aunt! Love my Car-Car.

The "Best Dressed" award should got to my great-nephew Michael who came straight from a hockey game.

Looks like a cut-throat game of UNO!

I still maintain I'm one of the tallest aunts. It just doesn't look like that when I'm paired with these two!

My twin loved the blanket I crocheted for her! It was my Hallmark-movie-multi-tasking project!

And look what she found for me – a fox decoration and fox sox! Love them!

My great-niece Millie says "I'm the No. 1 Lego tower builder!"

Somebody had to get those Packers sunglasses (I got at the game) out of my house! I told Nell she couldn't wear them since she wears glasses. "I can make it work!" And she did.

Mom and her twinsies!

Lene and I trying to prove that we're LADIES! 

Mom and her 8 R's! Hopefully someone got one where we're all looking at the same camera AND smiling!

And some of us were smiling at the end of the day! We did have to resort to watching some of the Vikings-Raiders game on a phone. But it was worth it to see the final few minutes. With a final score of 3-0, it must not have been very pretty to watch on the big screen anyway!

Hubby and I got home safely at 10 p.m. Roads were much better on the drive home. I mean, that's my opinion as a passenger both ways. Thanks for driving, sweetie! 

And thanks for another great Christmas celebration, family! 🎄

Talking Smart Doesn't Get You on the Nice List Either

I'll apologize in advance for what's coming this week. This is what happens when I talk smart! Didn't I learn anything about the talking thing yesterday? No, apparently not.

So my sister Ro texts a picture of the pretty wreath she put by Dad's grave. I commented on all the snow and was reminded that it is winter after all. I boldly and stupidly replied with...

A photo out my front door and a "Not here!"

Oh, I wish I could take those words back! Eight hours later and we're seeing this...

And this...

Either way you look at it, it's snow and ice and a mess. And, yep, my fault for talking smart. Or not so smart.

And selfishly the timing stinks because I have plans to escape the house the next 4 evenings! Oh, and that commute to work, which looks like it will be icy and sketchy both Wednesday and Thursday mornings. There's a change I'll work from home but that's no fun when we're doing Secret Santas at work and I still have more hollying and jollying to do!

We'll see how the forecast shakes out in the next 24 hours. In the meantime, be careful out there.

And if you love winter... you're welcome!

Black Friday 2.0

If one day could feel as long as a week, it was a today. We left for the church by 9 a.m. and visitation before my mother-in-law's funeral was 9:30-11 before the funeral.

It was a steady stream of visitors – a few pointing out that this is new, but sad, take on the term Black Friday. The grieving part of me agrees. But the spiritual part of my heart is thinking just like these bright flowers delivered to my house, we are celebrating a vibrant life well-lived.

That's what we'll cling to in coming days.

That and the outpouring of support – especially those who can to uplift us with hugs in person. Besides friends, neighbors, and relatives, Jim had a dozen high school and college buddies there and I had 5 of my 7 siblings. We feel so blessed!

After a delicious lunch at the church, our immediate family went to the Forest Hill Mausoleum to lay Donna to rest. Got home about 3 p.m. and just rested. 

Tonight we distracted ourselves with watching Assumption hoops – Jim from the couch and me from court-side taking some pictures. I think our minds and hearts just needed a break. We'll certainly need some energy stored up as we continue to navigate this unfamiliar path of grief.

Thanks again for your love and support. Count your blessings – and hug them if you can!

There They Go

These geese that crossed the road in front of us and plopped into a pond are pretty much symbolic of today. There they go, swimming off like my days out of the office.

It's been 830 days out and I am about to set my alarm for tomorrow's return. Guess I should've been super symbolic and gone to bed at 8:30. Don't think that that didn't cross my mind! 

It was a busy last day.

After work, Jim and I went up to Halder (that's God's Country for those who don't know) and met up with two cousins at the St. Patrick's cemetery. Sounds odd but not when they're all into genealogy and had some catching up to do – along with a bit of a walking tour. 

Nice to see Nancy and Barb and especially nice we were all above ground for it.

Since we were in the area, Jim and I headed over to Marshfield for dinner. We knew it was Mac Monday at Nutz Deep II. And had been looking forward to it for awhile.

Take one look at my Cajun Mac & Cheese and you'll see why! In the background you can see Jim's Philly Mac. We were both very happy with our meal. Yum!

Also since we were in the area, we went to Festival Foods. I know what you're thinking. No one lives it up like we do! Cemetery, Mac Monday and Festival Foods. All in ONE day?? Don't be jealous.

Seriously, the freshness and bounty that exists at Fest does not exist in our town. Unfortunately, it's a bit out of the way with gas prices as they are. Still, we did some recon and we'll come armed with a list next time.

Got home at 7:30 and I had to find something to wear to the office tomorrow, which will be the hottest day of the year so far. I assume the A/C will be cranked but I'm golfing after work so it'll be a golf outfit that fits our dress code. After 830 days, they'll just have to take me as I am.

Alright, gotta sleep fast! G'night.

Age is Just a Number

You know what golf strokes and birthdays have in common, right? You'll be happier if you don't count them.

As it happens, my golf score is right around my age. Which you don't need to know. Just know I'm typically between 50-55. And of course, 50 is OLD – if you believe everything you've been hearing on golf media outlets the last few days.

I'm glad 50-years-young Phil Mickelson came through and showed them all at the PGA Championship that age is just a number. And 50 is not a big one. Or an old one. Show Lefty some respect!

I couldn't help but snap some pictures on the last hole when the crowd when wild and followed Phil down the fairway. What pandemic? Apparently social distancing was so last season. I felt nervous for both Phil and Brooks Koepka, who had to make their way through the crowd to get to the green. 

Activate claustrophobia and anxiety now!

It was a crazy sight! But an exciting major to watch (most of them are) – especially on a rainy afternoon.

I did get my walk in before the rain and golf started. I walked over the cemetery to visit my girl Miss Emily. That's a 4-mile round trip so it's good for my health and my soul.

I was encouraged to see that someone had visited and left a rose. I assured Em that flowers may fade, but our love for her never will. She's my reminder to count my blessings while they're here – and be grateful to be here.

Probably shouldn't have said age is just a number. Because it's heartbreaking when it's a low number that will never get bigger. Emily should be completing her junior year of college right now. And she never got to start.

I talked a few weeks ago about May being Mental Health Awareness Month. I urge you to do what keeps your sanity intact, what keeps you calm and relaxed – whether that's sitting in a recliner watching golf for 4 hours or taking a walk or visiting friends or family. 

If that doesn't work, ask for help. 

See that crowd of supporters around a golfer they don't even personally know? Well we have support networks, too, that are larger than we realize. They just need to know you need them. It's tough carrying around regrets that you weren't there for someone, but worse regretting that you needed help and didn't ask.

Let's be human for each other. nami.org

Daylight Family Time Begins

With the beginning of Daylight Saving Time, the geese are flying north and so is this Robyn to see her momma. Hubby and I did the 400-mile round trip to see my mom for the first time since Labor Day weekend.

She's had both vaccination shots and could accept company in her home. (That's her bird light above.) We were all masked up, but dang, nothing replaces a personal hug with your mom!! We took her to lunch and my sister Renell joined us. Then is was back to Mom's apartment.

I brought a Mom-sized trifle as a pre-birthday treat – she'll be 89 next week – but of course Mom had baked a homemade carrot cake so that won out for dessert!

Still, my little pistachio trifle survived the 4-hour trip intact, so I was grateful for that!

Mom enjoyed her gift of a "recliner blanket" I made her. You see why I had to include purple? She loves purple. Not the Vikings, just regular purple. And she looks good in it!

My twin sister and her husband stopped by, too, so I got to see two R sisters (Carter's godmothers) besides the almost-birthday girl. Very nice visit. Hoping I can return around Mother's Day time and see the whole R gang!

We swung by to say hello to Dad at the Laketown cemetery. I thanked him for watching over all of us and keeping us safe. I know he heard me because we saw an eagle not 5 minutes later. That's always my sign with Dad.

Got home around 8:30 p.m. Am happy report it was still somewhat daylight at 7:30 p.m. Not sure how I'll adjust to all this when a real day (aka Awake early and work 8 hours) comes tomorrow. 

At least I had my daylight family time that I'll be saving in my memory bank!

Signs of New Hope

This could really be a depressing segment of our "dash" – that space between our beginning and end dates - if we let it be. We could focus on the sickness, death, mental and financial despair happening globally.

Or we could focus on the fact that, for many of us, the pace of our lives has slowed, allowing us to finally catch a much-needed breath. We see opportunities to dispose of the old – habits, material things, nonessential obligations – and in with the new – opportunities to improve ourselves, our relationships, maybe mend some of our broken parts, seize signs of hope, and be grateful.

I took a 4-mile walk yesterday to cleanse my soul and sinuses. It just happens to be exactly two miles from my doorstep to my angel Emily's grave. I've gotten that route down over the past two years. I was feeling this need to talk to her for some reason.

On the way there, I passed by a farm where a newborn calf was attempting to stand up on her wobbly legs for the first time. I couldn't stop staring and thinking even though we feel like the world is standing still right now, life does keep going on. And there are miracles every day.

When I got to the cemetery, I immediately noticed a single daffodil was blooming by Em's grave. Another sign of new life. This made me smile and broke my heart at the same time.

I don't know what is about visiting with this girl, but the floodgates open in 10 seconds or less and I am sobbing. I think I unknowingly bottle up sadness and stress over time and this dancing angel allows me to let it go. Even if it's not all about her. I know for a fact that much of it this week is about the one-year anniversary tomorrow of our friend Greg's death. But she just lets me let it out.

You know how freeing that feels? It's like a weight lifted from my shoulders. My tear ducts, nasal passages, and mind are clear. And open to hope again. Open to listen.

As per usual in our conversations, I spill my regrets that I couldn't help her. I couldn't save her from her tragic end. Yesterday, in that tiny window of time when my heart and mind were still, she let me know it wasn't too late. I could still help others if I can find a way through my words to tell the similar parts of my own story. And my survival.

I think I've known this for a long time, but my sweet dancing queen knows a thing or two about timing. There's no such thing as being "too busy" right now, is there? Just need to be brave enough to expose my scars and let them tell their stories.

If it gets too overwhelming, I'll visit my little Em (or just M, if she's a he) for inspiration. Thanks, angel.

We Remember

Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for all of us. We remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice fighting for our freedoms in the United States of America. For my family, though. We remember something more.

Dad died 6 years ago today – on Memorial Day. It was fitting because even though he wasn't able to serve in the military for health reasons, he loved his country and especially loved any holidays where flags were flying everywhere – Memorial Day, Flag Day, July 4th, Veterans Day, any day.

One of my sisters took care of adorning his grave marker with flowers and flags. When I talked to my mom today, she said she was at the cemetery for a Memorial Day service because "the veterans need support for what they're doing, too."

I'm glad both of my parents taught me not only to have respect for the flag, but respect for others, too. I'm also glad I got a piece of their cleverness and sense of humor. I'm definitely a mix of the two of them!

And, I learned today, that Mom is opinionated. She said as much on the phone. "Oh here I was blaming Dad for that all this time," I said. "So I'm opinionated because of you and I get my stubbornness from Dad? OK. Got it."

That's why I'm so well-balanced, I guess.

Glad I can still find plenty of Dad in myself so I know he's always with me. And with any of you blessed to know me. Ha.