A grim fairy tale

Once upon a time there was a mad scientist named Snipe who liked to experiment with nature and things of that nature.

One June day he brought home a cute little caterpillar and placed him in a jar with grass and a big stick. He named him Timmy. Snipe’s Fairy Godmother placed cellophane over the top of the jar, held in place by a rubber band, and poked small holes in it so Timmy could breathe.

Every day Professor Snipe checked on Timmy. He knew one day he would make a cocoon and, later in the summer, magically transform into a butterfly.

As luck would have it, not too many days later, Snipe found another caterpillar. This one looked big and mean, with evil spikes and black dots. He named him Freddie. Snipe wanted to see how the two would get along. It wasn’t meant to be.

One night, while the rest of the house was sleeping, Fat Freddie beheaded poor Tiny Tim … and escaped! For days, Fairy Godmother was on edge, wondering when the creepy critter would crawl up her leg or out of her purse or some dark corner.

Then one day, she was doing her Cinderella chores and lifted the rug to sweep. There, not 6 inches from the front door, lay a Flat Fat Freddy. He was inches from freedom and a life on the lam – only to be crushed in hiding by Snipe or Big Daddy.

The moral of the story (and of course, there is one): Crime doesn’t pay. When you’re guilty, you can’t worm your way out of anything!