The lucky ones

When I flipped over my Sisters calendar today, I saw it was a reminder once again to let those you love know about it every day because you never know when it may be your last chance to tell them.

The quote: "Dear Lord, please help me to remember to take the time to bestow the kisses today that I want loved ones to remember tomorrow."

I do bestow kisses on Jim and Carter every day. In my house, we do not part ways without a kiss and an "I love you." When I saw the quote though, I thought, I hope my parents and siblings know I love them despite our many recent healthy debates over Dad's birthday party (which thankfully is only 5 days away). I figure they must know I care. I practically announce once a week: Hey Internet world, I love my dysfunctional family! Kiss, kiss, hug, hug.

Seriously, I don’t know what I would do without them. And I do mean that seriously. It wasn't only the calendar quote that got to me today. Something tragic happened to someone at work that I can't stop thinking about.

I was typing something at my desk when we heard it. You know how once in awhile someone will laugh really loud at a joke and people will hear it many cubicles away. Well we heard this sudden vocal sound and I wasn't sure what it was. Then it continued and the 5 of us sitting there looked at each other and one person said, "That's not laughing."

We suddenly realize it is loud crying, almost screaming. We sit bolted to our chairs in the handcuffs of social etiquette while mouthing to each other: "Who is it?" "What's going on?" There seems to be this eery silence in that corner of the building as if every section of cubicles is doing the same thing.

We finally recognize who it is but sit helpless as we continue to hear her wails of shock and grief as she yells to someone on the phone, "Oh my god! They're both gone!" We hear someone trying to comfort her. We know she's lost someone. We all hold our hands to our chest because we ache for her loss and our hands shake as we think about how we would react to such a phone call.

The details, we learned later, were that her parents turned their heat on for the first time last night, went to bed and never woke up. They were overcome with carbon monoxide poisoning and died.

Hours later, her vocal pain is so vivid in my mind, I still feel sick to my stomach. Somewhat numb. I think about getting that phone call. I told Jim on the way home that if I was the one who got that news today about him or Carter I would have been screaming ... if my heart would have lasted another beat. I think it would hurt so much it would just stop.

Last weekend, as always, we ended our sisters weekend with a group hug. Who cares if we had our cantankerous moments? We are all here. None of us is dying of cancer or some disease. We all love each other. Do you know how lucky we are?

Yes. And I thank God that for today, we are the lucky ones.