Three Words: Detach With Love

Our teenager is not a morning person. I'll admit I wasn't one either at that age. But I forget.

This morning I tried to keep the mood light, asking Carter if there was anything he was hoping to do as a 15-year-old because he had one day left. He grumbles something about "homework as usual." So much for trying to be funny.

It put me in a bit of a sour mood on my commute until something in my audio book caught my attention. The mother in the book mentioned her mantra when dealing with a teenage child: Detach with love.

In other words, do no let somebody else's mood determine yours. If you are having a good day and trying to be lighthearted, don't let your crabby teen bring you down.

Turns out there is actually a website (detachewithlove.com) that further expounds on this:

Detachment is the ability to allow people the freedom to be themselves. It is the ability to hold back from the need to rescue, save or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional or irrational. It is the ability to develop and maintain a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life.

Detaching is a process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering - and to place all things in life into a health, rational perspective.

Very good words.

So tonight, even though Carter had insisted this morning he would have no time to go out to eat for a pre-birthday dinner (since there is baseball tomorrow), he decided at the last minute to accompany Jim, Lukas and me to Applebee's.

Both boys ordered a Cowboy Burger, topped with bacon, "haystack" onions, cheese curds, I think, and I don't know what else.

Lukas did not even know where to start. He knew his mouth wasn't big enough to take a full bite, but he managed to finish the whole thing. He even declared it his favorite meal in America so far. Welcome to the Clean Plate Club!

Now the tradition at Applebee's is that if it is your birthday, they will sing to you and give you a ginormous ice cream sundae. I surprised Carter with this a few years ago when he was younger and appreciated my efforts more. Tonight, I secretly mentioned to the waitress that it is Carter's birthday tomorrow but we were celebrating early.

Yes, part of me wanted to push Carter's buttons. But the other part wanted Lukas to see this American restaurant tradition. Turns out there were a lot of birthdays tonight. And Lukas got to see and hear the birthday song three times before it got to Carter! He said it was neat to see since he had only seen it in movies.

Carter, of course, won't forgive me. But at least I got a few spoonfuls of ice cream before it was all gone. So he can't dislike me THAT much!

Right??

America's Most Wanted

If you get your picture in the newspaper while you are in America, you better hope it's for a good reason. Now granted, Lukas was in jail today, but thankfully just visiting as part of a tour.

His moment of fame, if you will, came on the front page in a post-prom photo. Now if you got your newspaper and saw this picture, could you pick him out in the crowd?

My mother-in-law could!

But then again, she's the one who said if she was 60 years younger, she'd be chasing after our handsome visitor, too!

Carter and Lukas both got their photos in an online photo gallery from the Grand March as well. I called in, er texted in, a special favor with the newspaper photographer since I couldn't get a decent shot with my camera.

Carter and Lisa step in the spotlight. Now don't get concerned about seeing a garter on his sleeve. The girls just hand it to their dates. I swear. (And I hope.)

And here is Lukas and Ashley taking a turn on the stage. (Thanks Casey at the Tribune for these fine photos!)

The rest of the post-prom excitement has died down. Now it's back to school and rained out baseball games for Carter. Lukas and his German crew visited elementary schools yesterday and the courthouse and jail today. Tomorrow is a cranberry marsh and Friday is a boat trip in the sunshine (fingers crossed) in Wisconsin Dells.

Both are actually doing homework right now so I am going to sneak on the couch and catch up on The Voice. (Which by the way, does have a German version, Lukas says. I suddenly feel so worldly!)

Ger-MAN vs. FOOD

After two weeks in America, we discovered Lukas is full of it! As in, full of American food! He wanted to take it all on, but I think it's proving to be too much.

We should have gotten a clue the other day when he and a classmate walked to a grocery store after school to get pretzel bread and German cheese. They had their fill of our fried calorie-filled feasts, I guess. The good news for us is if Lukas wants "home" cooking, Lukas has to make it.

So he did.

Wouldn't you love to come home to this top chef after a hard day of work? It sure was a treat!

First, he whipped up some obatzda. I'm sure you've heard of it. Ha. Well in the Bavarian cookbook he gave me, it is referred to as a "savory cheese spread" – great with pretzels or crackers or bread. The key was locating some Camembert cheese in town. After that, it was easy.

And tasty!

He also created some sort of concoction mixing diced zucchini, red peppers, cherry tomatoes and feta cheese – seasoned with rosemary and garlic and olive oil. While those were baking, he toasted some bread in a pan with olive oil and seasoning.

You hungry yet?

After this baked a bit, it was all seasoned and tasty. Trust me. I am the world's pickiest eater and this had such good flavor, I liked it! (Except the cherry tomatoes, which I picked out.) Still good, though.

We could handle this kind of service every night but we still have places to go and food to eat! Everything from Buffalo Wild Wings to frozen yogurt at Sweet Frog. He's got a list, but his head is nowhere near as full as his belly!

We'll have to remember to enjoy the rest of our meals together in moderation.

Dictionary of Four-Letter Words

Don't worry. This is only rated R for Robyn, nothing else.

Some recent four-letter words that aren't cursing...

MILK: The first time we asked Lukas if he wanted milk with dinner, he responded: "To drink??" Apparently, adding it to cereal in the morning is fine, but they don't sit around Bavaria gulping glasses of milk like we do in the Dairy State. Other than that, he eats so healthy he gets his calcium elsewhere!


RAIN: I might as well add COLD to this one. Oh, and WIND, too. That describes today and most of the days we've had our special guest. Every day we say, "It is not normally like this!" Yet every day it keeps happening. We were very fortunate to have sun for the mega-photo sessions yesterday. According to the forecast, though, he might not see a 60-degree day before heads home May 8 (but let's not talk about that). Sad face.

PROM: Boys slept in today so I had to run their tuxes into town. It did seem like a Cinderella story. All dressed up one night and back to jeans and running shoes the next. I will miss Carter's dapper black-and-white shoes, though! Sweet.

NIKE: Speaking of shoes... At this point, I think Nike could sponsor Lukas' flight back to Germany. He brought one pair with him, bought one in Chicago and one in Oshkosh. Today, after enjoying a pancake breakfast at my church, I took Lukas, another German guest and Carter down to Wisconsin Dells to the Nike Outlet Store there. Came home with 5 more pairs. One each for brother, mother, grandmother and dad. The 5th pair are mine. After shopping for the first 4 pairs, I figured I better buy some, too! Don't ask how we will fit them all in his suitcase.

BOOK: I believe I have failed to mention recently that my reading world has moved into the 21st century. I am now the proud owner of a Kindle Fire. While I love holding and reading a physical book, this will help me get my hands on books for our new book club. Plus, I got a super sweet deal on this. I'm talking only 25 bucks out of my pocket thanks to my "Amazon points." So now that the rain is falling and the boys are gone to another German-American Partners Party, I am going to turn it on and read our May book – Orphan Train – which is already proving to be interesting historic fiction.

TIME: Won't be a long night of reading, I'll tell you. Since I did NOT sleep in, I can't quite recover from prom like a I used to!

PROM (Pictures Required Of Mothers)

First thing I learned about Prom Day is the difference between boys and girls. Girls will get up early to get their hair and nails done. Boys, on the other hand, go with the flow...

Us last night: What time should we get you guys up in the morning?

Carter: Probably 11. 

Lukas: Well, maybe 10:30.

Obviously, no worries. They just get up, shower and look good. AND they did!

Here are some of the photo highlights. You know I took more, but this Cinderella is turning into a pumpkin in a few minutes so I'll just go with these for now...

Sharp-dressed men ready to go pick up the ladies!

"Brothers" for life.

Weird wide focus image of our family. The boys still look good, though!

 

Carter giving wrist corsage to his date, Lisa. Yes, he had to go 5,000 miles to find a date! (That's what Dad teases him about anyway!)

 

The double date: Lukas & Ashley and Lisa & Carter.

Lukas & Ashley at the museum, which turned out to be the photographic hot spot for at least two area proms!

Lisa and Carter strike a pose.

Carter joked: "Gee, Mom, the next time you see me in a tux I'll be getting married." Ha, ha. You have two more proms, buster!

Carter and buddy Tyler play it cool.

Carter and Tony ONLY know cool.

All our visiting German students.

Just the fralines.

Now the gents.

Ashley & Lukas.

All of the sophomores in attendance (plus a few getting photographed elsewhere).

The gang.

Friend Emily (his homecoming date).

None of these girls love him as much as I do!

GQ Magazine is calling! Don't you love Carter's pinstripe vest and shoes?

Sweet Olivia hangin' with the guys.

Guy from a different school sporting a Duct Tape tux. Speechless.

Pretty gym decorations from the Grand March. Too dark for decent photos but  Jim, his mom and sister and I enjoyed attending.

Speaking of GQ.... I did some artsy shots near our neighbors' old barn. Told them not to look at me. Lukas still got the giggles but managed a serious look.

 Don't know what to say about this one. Other than THIS mom is not ready for her baby to be looking this grown up and this good just yet!

I picked the foursome up at midnight when the dance ended. They all said they had a good time -- probably except for the last two minutes when they had to run to the car in the rain. So long, beautiful hair.

Naturally, our guys still looked good. Definitely why Pictures are Required of Mothers!

Friday Fun

With the month of May just days away, we should be much warmer than 60 degrees with an 18 mph wind creating a windchill.

At least that's what we keep telling ourselves – and our German visitors.

Still, we were happy to see the sun shining for a jackets-required baseball game this afternoon at home. Even though it was chilly, we were all better prepared than the other day! That was a good thing since the game almost went into extra innings.

We played a conference rival – Auburndale – which also had a 1-1 conference record. We fell behind early, then led until the Apaches tied it at 9-9 at the top of the 9th.

Carter was the courtesy runner for the catcher tonight and scored both times he was on base.

At the bottom of the 9th, we had one out and a guy on third base. Basically, the batter had to get a single so our player could run home to score.

Have you ever heard of a "walk-off bunt"? That is how we won the game! Crazy. A great play when it works!

After the game, the boys had a campfire party to go to for other host students and their guests. Yes, they do have more of a social life than we do! Not to be outdone, Jim and I had dinner with another couple from school at The Ridges.

Got home in time to coordinate some prom plans with the girls' mom, then went to pick up the boys at 10. They had a great time at the party – other than Lukas jamming a finger while playing basketball. I think he'll be fine. It was his right hand so I told Lucky Lefty he'll still be able to do homework okay.

I sure know how to bring the fun, don't I?

Lucky Lefty

After days of nonstop action, it seems, we finally had a little down time this evening. That was nice.

Since we were all home, we decided to teach Lukas a "typical" American game: Yatzee. He recalls playing something like it with one of his grandparents many, many years ago. Apparently he hasn't lost his touch.

Both of the boys got Yatzee right off the bat, then Jim followed close behind. I got it toward the end so I really did yell a heartfelt "Yatzee!"

Didn't help my score any.

I decided since Lukas the left-hander was shaking so well I would copy him and shake left-handed, too. Awkward movements for a lifelong righty but I did get a few good shakes. Just not enough.

Look who won? Lucky Lefty Lukas! And I can't even say we "let him win" since that would be hard to do in Yatzee. You see that before the game, Jim wrote "Winner" as his name. He came in third. I came in last and Carter wasted no time in changing my name to "Loser." (Click on photo for closer view.)

Now I gotta think of a game I have a chance of winning!

In the meantime, the boys are wrapping up homework. It has been a busy week with school and baseball on Tuesday, then school and baseball and track practice (Lukas just did it for running fun) and tux pickup on Wednesday.

Today Lukas had field trips to the mayor's office, the log-home business and the cheese factory. (He got ice cream!) It rained all day -- and it still is -- so the boys did some indoor practice after school. Track and softball competitions were canceled. Baseball isn't scheduled 'til tomorrow, when another set of busy days begins with game and party Friday, Prom on Saturday and pancake breakfast, church, shopping and party on Sunday.

Guess I have a few days to practice shaking dice!

Look out, Lucky Lefty!

Born to Shop

Remember when I told you one of Lukas' first requests was to get to a Nike store? Well apparently word traveled some 5,000 miles because we got this interesting sketch in the mail this week.

Turns out Lukas' 12-year-old brother Florian would like to get his hands, er feet, on a pair of those hard-to-get swooshes. So he traced his left foot so we could determine an American size. If you can't read German, it says: "Flo's left foot – for Nikes."

I got the biggest chuckle out of this! Of course now we just HAVE TO go shopping again.

Speaking of Metric / American conversions... We picked up the tuxes for both boys tonight. Amazingly, they fit perfectly so no alterations are needed. That's good news since the Grand March is a mere 72 hours away!

The prom plans seems to be coming together, falling or crashing into place, you get the picture.

Had to order the flowers – wrist corsages for the ladies and boutonnieres for the boys. Typically, you want the wrist corsage to match the girl's dress. Since the boys officially asked their dates on Sunday, there is not enough time to get cute here. I asked what color the dresses are and I got a "light blue sort of aqua" response.

Never count on a man to explain a color. There's a whole mess of names for colors in that palate of blue. When I did finally see the blurry texted picture, the one dress was clearly a mint green, not "aqua."

Needless, to say, I went with a generic white and silver corsage. It will match anything.

Next time maybe the girls should take a cue from Flo and draw a picture.

Earth Day Digest

Just to be clear: Today was Earth Day, not Global Warming Day. See graphic above to note the obvious difference.

For my new readers in Germany, that's 40 degrees -- or 4.4 Celsius -- right now and dipping down to -1.1 Celsius tonight.

Does that sound like baseball weather to you? That's correct. It is NOT.

We traveled up to Wausau to take on our arch-rivals. Looking out at the sunshine all day at work, I was not prepared for the chill in the air. OK, for the blasted cold and wind in the air! I didn't even have a hoodie on (I know, only 35 to chose from in my closet at home!).

Thank God for friends with blankets! Lukas and one of the other visiting Germans (Florian on right) had to huddle under a blanket for warmth when the 4th inning lasted an hour.

Not kidding.

The good news is that despite purple lips and chattering teeth, we were watching our Assumption Royals make the comeback of the century. Down 7-3, they came back with a vengeance and won 30-8. Not a typo there. What an insane game!

Hard to explain to the Germans that this is NOT a typical baseball score. Good grief. We thought our girls' softball win of 22-2 over Newman was quite the feat tonight. Our boys just had to take it one step further.... And further... And further...

We cranked the heat on the way home and stopped at Culver's in Stevens Point for some warm food to heat up our insides.

I should be glad we got to spend so much time outdoors in nature on Earth Day. When my frozen toes are thawed, maybe I will be.

Monday Moments

Road Trip: The boys were on a bus trip over to Green Bay today to tour Lambeau Field then tour a Maritime Museum in the Manitowoc / Two Rivers area. I guess they had a good time. I hope Lukas doesn't feel compelled to choose an NFL team to support. Just because he bought a Packers hat doesn't mean we still can't influence him to come to the purple side. Just sayin'.

Book Club: Held our Face to Face Book Club meeting at my house tonight. We had 5 of us here discussing The Sunday Wife by Cassandra King. We all enjoyed it and gave it an average rating of 3.82 (with 7 chiming in) out of 5. Pretty good. Mainly had a nice visit discussing everything from psychic readings (book related) to overseas trips and that handsome German student living with us.

Post-Game: During my meeting, Jim went into town to watch the baseball game. Carter did not get back in time to play but he and Lukas got to watch part of it anyway. We ended up losing by 2 runs. They all got home around 8, when book club was wrapping up. Didn't get to hear much about the trip since both boys have homework.

Back to Reality: Tomorrow Spring Break is over and it is back to reality. Typical of Carter to start his homework now when he's been off 6 days! In his defense, we have had a pretty full schedule. I wouldn't have changed a minute of it and I'm sure he wouldn't either. The teachers, however, might not understand.

Easter Blessings

I always feel blessed at Easter when we are reminded of what Jesus did for each and every one of us. I am especially blessed on Easters I can spend time with both of our families and, this year, a new family member. What a wonderful holiday!

Just like the old days, Carter was the first to rise. This year it had nothing to do with being a kid anxious to find his Easter basket. It was all about having to get up early to work! The restaurant where he washes dishes for a living had a special Easter brunch today so he had to work from 9-2.

Meanwhile, Jim got up to take him to work and Lukas and I slept in! He went with me to 11 o'clock church -- the third of three services there today. Got home a little after noon. I had some work to finish up from Friday so Lukas tagged along with Jim to pick up Carter from work.

The Easter Bunny thought it only fair to wait until Carter was home from work before he dropped off baskets for them...

The Bunny provided quite a mixture of "American treats" for Lukas, plus a handy U.S. map for reference when we are talking about other states besides Wisconsin.

Plus, some important Assumption High School gear for him.

 

Including a sweatshirt, since it may never warm up while he is here!  

I took a picture of Carter while saying, "Don't worry, Carter, the Easter Bunny still loves you!"

The German Easter Bunny also brought some delicious chocolate Easter treats for us. I can't read the label but I am sure it is the German word for "delicious!"

A little after 3 p.m. we headed over to Jim's parents for dinner. Lukas got to meet Jim's much smaller (compared to mine) family -- his parents and his sister and her family.

Here Lukas shares his scrapbook with them so they can "meet" his family and see what he does for fun. They really enjoyed meeting him.

Tonight, the boys are at a campfire with some other German students and their American hosts. They each took some flowers with them to ask their prom dates "officially" to prom. Who says romance is dead?

Probably fitting it has been resurrected on Easter!

Solemn, Slushy, Silly Saturday

If you can believe it, the four of us got up early enough to be on the road by 8 a.m., heading north. Since it is a 4-hour trip to my twin sister's, this year's Easter Egg Hunt hostess, we opted to make an educational pit stop on the way up.

We showed Lukas The Highground, a memorial campus just outside of Neillsville that honors veterans of all American wars. It was our solemn American military history lesson of the day.

With donated funds, the sculptures and gardens they have created there are stunning. Some photos of a few...

A soldier with a feathered staff represents Native Americans who served in wars.

 Korean War Memorial had three interesting statues as part of its display.

Carter helping Lukas interpret some of the information at the memorial.

From the "Point" at the Highground, the boys could see 20-30 miles to the west. Not quite to Minnesota, but close.

New "boot" memorial under construction for the Gulf Wars.

The Wisconsin Vietnam Vets place trinkets of memories on part of their statue.

Personalized dedication bricks everywhere are the primary support for the exhibition. Here a fellow served with Elvis!

The veteran providing us with tour information encouraged the boys to ring the Highground Bell before we left. What an honor. It was loud and had a sad sound, reminding us why we were there.

After our quick cool and windy tour, we were back on the road, northbound. We didn't really see the much talked about snow until we were about an hour away from Raylene's house west of Siren. They definitely had plenty!

There was still ice on the lakes and we tried to explain ice fishing to Lukas. The fishing part he understood. The actual driving vehicles out onto the ice, not so much.

Got to Raylene's before our 1 p.m. meal then had to play games after lunch while the rain washed a lot of snow away, added water and mud to the yard -- a.k.a. our hunting grounds. So while we waited, Lukas learned two games: Sequence and CLR.

The Sequence game requires some strategy. I "coached" Lukas and had him on the same team as Carter and my mother. I told him, "You can't lose if you are on Grandma's team." Turns out I was right!

Concentrating before taking a turn.

The game CLR was a bit louder. Ok, way louder as we shook dice and tried not to have to give away our quarters with the wrong shake. When it was time to hide the eggs, I volunteered with two other sisters who had boots with them. You needed them, not so much for the snow but the water puddles in the yard and muddy places. 

Here's a tip: Don't hide Easter eggs in the snow.

Apparently only good bunnies know how to cover up their tracks!

My nephew David's wife Sara forgot her boots but made do with plastic bags tied over her feet. Clever AND fashionable.

The boys set out to find some loot in the snow.

You can see what I mean about not much snow. Warm temps today got it melting quickly!

The Egg Hunt turned into more of a big snowball fight between all my nephews - with Carter and Lukas joining right in.

Nice form, Lukas! I hope you hit your target!

My nephew Travis hurls one back. Sorry, Lukas, you are family now. They don't have to be nice to you!

Caryn is considering if walking through water is worth it for peanut butter eggs!

The answer: Always!

 Our hostess with the mostest taking pictures instead of gathering up treats she deserved!

We hit the road a little after 6 p.m. Lukas told us it was a really, really, really nice day and he felt very welcomed by my family. I'm sure he also appreciated being photographed by my hometown sign.

I'm sure you've heard the sign in Luck is one of the Top 10 "must see' sights in America.