Phrivilous Phobias

Everyone's afraid of something.

Some are practical fears, like fear of losing your job. Some we think of occasionally, like fear of losing a loved one either by heartbreak or death. Some seem downright whacky -- but I tell you this, the person with the phobia is darn serious.

Today on the radio they were talking about a survey in England where residents listed their top fears. I think spiders was No. 1 and flying was No. 4. What surprised the radio crew -- and me -- was that clowns, yes clowns, were No. 3. Ahead of flying.

I mean you can completely avoid clowns if you want. You won't die from a clown bite and certainly not 30,000 feet in the air, but clowns rank ahead of flying and right up there with arachnids. Weird. (Said the pot calling the kettle black.)

Yes, I have a few interesting phobias. I'm scared to death to ride a motorcycle after being in an accident as a teenager. I'm also cautious on my bicycle, too. Don't like making right turns. I just freak like I'm going to fall over. (Maybe I should be a race car driver like my nephew and do left turns only.)

I'm scared of heights (falling, mainly). That includes everything from state park observation towers to fourth-level stadium seats and bridges. Underwater tunnels, I could do without. On the two occasions I went through them -- a long-ass one under Chesapeake Bay and a short one under Mobile Bay -- I laid on the floor of the backseat and covered myself with a jacket until it was over. Don't like long bridges over water, either, and tense up when we drive under a railroad bridge when there's a train overhead. Ever notice how those concrete railroad bridges look a hundred years old? How long are they going to hold up that train? Yikes.

Today was fun. Not really. We had a major downpour on the drive home. By the time we got to Amherst, there was flooding under the railroad bridge. We saw the truck ahead of us get through it and hoped our little Civic wouldn't get bogged down and stall -- especially because there was a train whipping across overhead. I just gripped the door handle and prayed. We made it, of course, so it's probably an unreasonable fear. (But I won't admit it.)

I have one more fear that's pretty out there, but I think you'll agree on the freaky factor. Or just freak.

Can't handle those men with 3-inch long eye brows... waving in the wind...

Ooooh, I gotcha! Yes, I did mention it's car show time again. I will be entertaining you with the "side show" photo gallery in the days to come. I doubt I can top last year's Eye Brow Man, but I am willing to try. I'll be watching for his return, too.

I should be scared. But I'm not.