Steamrolled

There are so many conveniences these days, I don't even need to leave work to go to the Torture Chamber. That's not a slam against my job, I'm talking about the real Torture Chamber – aka Mammogram Machine!

For our convenience, the Boob Bus just rolls into the parking lot. Drive-thru pancakes, anyone?

It seriously is nice to just step away from our desks for 15 minutes. And it's always nice to enjoy, er endure, the pressing questions from the machine operator. And her warnings:

"This will pinch a bit."
Me: What the heck is "bit"?

"OK, now don't move."
Me: Wouldn't dream of it. Plus, not exactly capable.

"And just hold your breath."
Me: I stopped breathing two cranks ago.

Of course, you go through it and have to wait a few days for results. The tech person only knows how to flatten and focus. Someone else actually compares the new steamroller results with last year's.  Fingers crossed.

After watching a dear friend battle breast cancer for the past year, I know the smashing good time I had today was worth it.

Hope these puns didn't fall flat.