Reflections

One of my sisters has a pillow that says, "Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, I've become my mother after all." Next year, during our annual sisters weekend, that pillow will be "willed" to someone else. Instead of the "If the shoe fits, wear it" concept it, it's "If the pillow fits, take it home."

To a person, we all have traits -- both good and bad -- that mirror those of our parents. Just like we don't want to give our parents credit for all of our successes, we certainly can't blame them for all our failures either. There comes a time when we have to hold ourselves accountable for who we are, who we've become, how we've shaped ourselves into (hopefully) loving, giving members of society.

As parents, we must do the same. We have to let our children shine in their own spotlight and bite our tongues when we want to say, "He gets that from me!" That's the hard part. The easy part is being so proud we could burst our buttons... but we still have to bite our tongues when we want to say, "Look at our amazing kid!"

So I'm doing my best to hold my braggart tongue in check today. But I'm letting out a little peep that may sound like, "Look at our amazing kid!" but is really, "We love how our kid continues to amaze us!"

Last night we had parent-teacher conferences for Carter. His report card was quite satisfactory, but we all know that doesn't tell the whole story.

We were not surprised to learn that he is a bit of a "personality," that he does well speaking in front of the class and can hold his audience captive during a presentation (even when he's making up facts). This is where we say he probably gets that from both of us (a mix of charm and B.S.)... along with the writing and editing skills the teacher mentioned.

We were surprised to learn, though, that he's a bit of a math whiz and may be called upon to help some sixth-graders. His teacher said Carter likes to challenge himself (especially in math) and set his goals high. So while he may get his number-crunching abilities from Daddy, Carter's goal-setting style comes from his own inner drive to do well.

Of course we are proud, but this is also a scary milestone. We see that he is exerting his independence. He is beginning to shape himself into the person he wants to be and we have to let him do that ... no matter what may transform.

Who said parenting is easy? You're right. No one has ever said that. Even the days we want to wear a T-shirt that says "Proud Parent of a Fifth-Grader" are tough because it means our baby is growing up. At least for today (and just for today) I can find a little comfort in knowing it may be in the right direction.