Clean Underwear and So On

If you're of a certain age, your mother undoubtedly drilled it in your head to "Wear clean underwear in case you get into an accident!"

When I was very young I wondered how clean underwear could save my life in a head-on collision. Later, I realized it was more a warning not to embarrass myself or tarnish the family name with tarnished undergarments. Heaven forbid they have a hole in them either!

I guess my generation of parenting just said "Wear clean underwear" and left it at that. But maybe I've been a little low on the old-school advice. Today, when Mr. Newly Independent came home for a dental appointment, we suggested he brush his teeth before going. 

"That's like washing your windshield before getting a car wash," he said. Oh, so he's a logical and sarcastic reflection of his parents. Who knew?

Not to be dismissed, I held up my hands and said, "Even I'm wearing fancy nails to go get fingerprinted." Nobody appreciated my fancy nails. But I felt better about myself.

And yes, I got fingerprinted. And yes, it was voluntary. And no, it must not be in the sheriff's deputy's nature to say "nice nails." Though I was all prepared to tell him – or anyone who noticed – that they're my "jail nails." Humor opportunities are lost sometimes in certain environments. I guess in a jail, that's about right.

So I'm not in trouble. Just had to get fingerprinted as part of a background check for some volunteer work with children. Very much appreciate organizations who do that! Since the city PD isn't doing fingerprinting for that – thanks COVID – they recommended someplace in Marshfield or Wausau. Didn't feel like driving so figured I should check with the sheriff's department since we are the county seat. Thankfully, I could get it done for a small fee.

Of course, the magic ink pad they normally use wasn't working so they had to use a real ink pad – heck I could have done it at home then using my stamping supplies. Well the real ink doesn't come off easy so I had black fingertips for a few hours.

But dang, those nails looked good. 

And Mom, I had clean underwear on, just in case.