Turn the Page

Why is it that in a child's eyes, parents are idiots?

I take that back. Not usually a child so much as a teen or a young adult. I don't get it.

And yet, I thought the same thing.

The cycle is pretty much a given. We are "gods" in our trusting child's eyes until about 10 or 12 years of age, when they get a bit skeptical, then by 14 or 15, clearly have no doubts that we are too strict, too old and way out of touch with reality. That belief only deepens over time.

I am sure (I hope) I am not the only grown adult who learned almost too late in life that our parents knew a thing or two. And regretted what I thought of them and how I treated them. Seriously, how long does it take to figure this out??

On one hand, I am embarrassed to admit I was 30 years old when I saw the light. On the other hand, I'm just glad it happened -- and it wasn't too late. My parents were (are) still alive so all I had to do was grovel a bit, beg forgiveness, turn the page and start over. It's a beautiful thing -- this adult relationship we can have with our parents. But kids don't get that.

And why should they? We didn't.

But still, knowing that someday they will get it (hopefully), they will turn that corner and we can turn that page together... still knowing that, does not make it any easier to parent. Does not erase the pain when they break our hearts. And it feels like it's on purpose. And they do it again. And it hurts even worse.

We are having a very hard time with this right now. There's an adult child who has not turned that corner. I don't even think he's on the right street yet. We hope and pray for the day it happens, but until then, we just pray. Pray for patience, tolerance, strength, wisdom.

For him and for us.

That's a helpless feeling, isn't it? But not hopeless. Thank God. Not hopeless.