Mad Scientists

Got to hang out with the mad scientists of Assumption Middle School tonight for their science fair! Lots of interesting experiments and demonstrations crammed together in overheated classrooms. But cool to see.

Carter was inspired by some "Brain Games" on the National Geographic Channel and he created an interactive display from that.

If you look at the gray boxes, does one look darker than the other? They are actually the exact same shade of gray. Don't believe me? Put your finger over the line between them and you will see.

Pretty cool, huh?

He also demonstrated the Stroop Effect, which has to do with how quickly your brain recognizes words versus colors. Participants were timed identifying colors on a flash card when the words matched the ink: Blue, Red, Green, etc. They were then timed when the colors didn't match the words -- Blue, Red, Green -- and found the brain took longer to figure out the color because it wanted to say the word instead of the color. Make sense?

He did pretty well from what we (and our spies) could see. Plus, his board looked magnificent! Thanks to my Cricut cutting out the letters. Ha. Carter was the one who lined everything up like a perfectionist, though.

I thought mad scientists were messy...

Plum Crazy

I love to read. I used to think it was somewhat of a private, individual hobby. But I've since changed my mind.

If you've ever belonged to a book club or just recommended a good book to a friend ("You've got to read this!"), you know what I mean. You suddenly find yourself with something more in common with someone you probably were friends with already.

For years, my twin sister and I have been exchanging books. We pretty much have identical reading interests. No surprise. In recent years, I have discovered this same connection with my friend Christine and, on occasion, my sister-in-law and now one of my husband's aunts.

I can't remember if it was Christine or my friend Susan at work who introduced me to Stephanie Plum. She's the main character in a series of books by Janet Evanovich. I liked her immediately and wanted to write something with that same type of sass and sense of humor. We'll see on that one. As for Ms. Plum, though, I have read every book in the series -- from One for the Money to Explosive Eighteen (a month ago) -- plus several "in between" books.

Since I started, I have discovered among my family, friends and acquaintances, quite a few other Plum fans. We've all been looking forward to this past weekend, when One for the Money premiered on the big screen. Since my friend Christine and I were out of town, we had to wait until tonight to go "Plum crazy" and meet our larger-than-life "boyfriends" Ranger and Morelli.

I'm always leery about seeing movies adapted from books I really like. I've had some disappointments and some winners. In my opinion, the book is always better. But that doesn't mean you still can't like the movie!

Tonight I kept my expectations in check. But really had no reason to be disappointed -- other than it definitely could have been longer than 90 minutes. I really liked One for the Money! If you have read the books -- or even if you haven't -- go and see it. Just remember it is book one and it takes us back a long time ago when all the characters were just getting to know each other. In other words, there wasn't enough Ranger or Morelli "steam."

Maybe they'll do a sequel.

Or I could always hit the books again.

Snooze Button

In hindsight, it was a bad parenting decision on my behalf to allow Carter to even think of getting up at 5:30 a.m.

Because he did.

And, by scientific deduction regarding the location of the alarm clock, you can logically deduce Carter was not the only one up before sunrise. As a result, while Carter was off hot-tubbing with friends (girls included), you guessed it, we had some crabby grownups in our room.

I didn't quite recover. I really would have loved to have hit the snooze to the off position and get back to some good dream. But no, we were up and therefore on the road well before 9 a.m. The good part about that is we got home at a decent time so I had my "Saturday" chores of dusting, sweeping and vacuuming done by noon.

My plan was to get some final scrapbooking stuff together for next weekend, but I couldn't get the energy. In fact, I actually got sick in a projectile way and knew I needed some more sleep. So while Jim dragged Carter to the batting cage to see if he had energy, I laid down for 2 hours. Didn't really sleep but got enough rest to get on with my day.

And by "get on with my day," I mean sit on the couch and watch male figure skating and then a dramatic finish in a golf tournament on TV. Somewhere in there, I did do Carter's laundry and give him some pointers on an upcoming science presentation. But I still anticipate I'll be on the couch shortly to watch part of the SAG Awards at 7, then probably be in bed by 8.

That alarm and first snooze will come soon enough!

Brains & Brawn

We got to participate in our first "Brains & Brawn" tournament today. Very interesting, entertaining and exciting. In fact, the fun is still continuing -- but since it is already Sunday, I am going to bed!

The tournament features 8th-graders from 9 Catholic middle schools in the La Crosse Diocese. The "Brains" part features a co-ed academic team and is sort of like the old "High School Quiz Bowl" that used to be on TV. The "Brawn" part features boys and girls basketball teams. Assumption Middle School had a team competing in all three.

As much as I think of Carter as a Brain sometimes, he was on the Brawny hoops team. They played at 8 a.m. and noon. The first game was a close one but we lost 39-34. The second game was not even close. Wausau Newman -- who beats us regularly -- killed us by 40 points. Not kidding. So we were done playing after 2 games.

Our 8th-grade girls team, on the other hand, was dominating and ended up winning the championship! How fun to finally sit and watch them. They are pretty aggressive! I can't wait to see them play in high school.

Our Brains team made it to the finals but ended up finishing 4th. I sat in on a little bit of that competition between games. I was happy I could answer a lot of the questions -- to myself -- but no, I am not smarter than an 8th-grader!

The day wrapped up with a special Mass with the bishop and awards announcement. Turns out our 8th-grade boys team got the coveted Sportsmanship Award for the tournament. Very cool! Jim went with all the other families to the service, but Carter and I stayed at the hotel (a different one from last night). I didn't feel that great after my longest "outing" of 2012. Very long day so I laid down for 2 hours. I got my second wind when everyone got back.

Everyone else did, too. The kids all found places to hang out and so did the grownups. Since it's almost 1 a.m. I am getting Carter to bed and me, too. Carter thinks he's going to get up at 5:30 a.m. so he can get into the pool right at 6 a.m.

Really, Carter?? Now you know why he wasn't in the "brains" competition.

Old School

If you want to feel old, go back to the town you went to college in... and see how it's changed. In 20 years! Whoa. Has it been that long?

I'm excited we get to spend the weekend in La Crosse, but honestly, our schedule is so full, I really won't get any time for sight-seeing. Not that I haven't seen it all before!

We got into town about 6 and stopped at Edwardo's Pizza for supper. I said, "I remember that was good pizza. Let's stop there." Good thing some things don't change in 20 years. The pizza was still awesome! In fact, 3 hours later and I am still full!

Since our first basketball game is at 8 a.m., most of Carter's teammates are at the Super 8 hotel with us. Tomorrow we switch to a different hotel, but this one will be nice and close to Aquinas High School in the morning.

Tonight, the "kids" hung out in the lobby and us grownups hung out around the pool. No one was swimming. We were just talking stupid. Probably more so than the kids. But that's what makes an overnight trip fun.

Now I gotta be the evil mother and get Carter to bed. I think there are some other mean moms, too, dragging their kids to bed so we're all rested for a big day tomorrow.

I'll just pretend I'm in college and sleep's not that important!

Oh Goody

My husband said if I was good today, he'd take me to a basketball game tonight. My question is, when am I not good? Especially when I'm working?

He's funny. Of course I'd love to see the high school boys play at Pittsville. We don't get to as many games as we'd like if Carter plays the same night. Plus, this should be a close one.

So I was good today just in case. At least as far as I could tell. And I think I'm a good judge of that.

Today I had a midday appointment so I worked from home. I had so many projects to do, I almost didn't have time to take a shower before heading into town. That wouldn't have been good. That also means I didn't have time to think (a.k.a. worry) about driving there either. So it all worked out.

My voodoo Round 2 appointment on the Couch went well, too. This technique is amazing and I will not jinx it by commenting further. Let's just say I drove home afterwards with no anxiety and I didn't even have to roll the windows down for cold air. Another baby step. I'll take it.

Got home just as Carter was getting off the bus. I still had work to do so I got him going on homework right away and I put supper in the oven. So Jim should come home to dinner on the table and a showered, nice-smelling wife.

That's got to count for something good, doesn't it?

Hooping it Up

Finally, what all the fans have been waiting for... basketball pictures!

Yes, I finally remembered to bring my camera. And no, it still doesn't take great pictures in the gymnasium lighting. I found if I put it on the "sports continuous motion" setting, it does OK -- but still grainy. Bear with me. I'm sure you can still tell #13 is Carter, right?
Waiting for the free-throw shot to hit the rim so he can go for a rebound while "boxing out" his opponent.

Breaking away during an in-bound play.

Taking a shot. You can tell by the arc, it's not going to swish in. And it didn't.

He did follow through to rebound his own shot. How's that for camera work?

This one's just as grainy but he was excited I caught him in action -- in the air even. After I saw that on my camera, I said to the mom next to me, "My work is done for the night."

Just for the night, though. I'm sure with 3 more weekend tournaments coming up, I'll have ample opportunity to try and top this!

I can't wait to try.

Survivor

Earlier in the day, I figured the toughest thing I'd have to survive was the drive -- by myself -- to and from work. While that was a 100-mile challenge I'd prefer not to repeat, the biggest test came later.

High school orientation.

Who? What? Huh?

Yup, there was a meeting for upcoming 9th-graders and their parents at the school tonight. Yup, that's us. Uff da.

I sat there half listening, half wondering where the time went. I'm looking at his class requirements for the next 4 years and can't get past the number 4. What? Only 4 years left with my baby?? Oh boy. And I thought driving was stressful these days!

As a side note, I did drive into town for the meeting since Jim wasn't back from his trip yet. At one point halfway through, I glanced at the back of the room and saw my knight in shining armour, back early from this trip, with a slight sunburn on this face. My hero. And my ride home since his travel companion dropped him off at the school. Yay.

Carter had basketball practice and is getting a ride home with the neighbors so Jim and I could come home. And unpack.

Oh, and look at Carter's schedule.

Since he has high school-level Math and German this year, and part-time computer apps, he will earn 2.75 of his required 26 credits by the end of this school year already. That's cool. Looks like he'll keep taking Math for infinity. For his prospective career, he put down math teacher or architect. I've seen his "optical illusions." I don't think I'd want to live in a house like that.

Then again, to Carter, that might seem more normal.

Ahhhh, we'll survive. Right?

Travel Advisory

When the weatherman says the roads are slick after snow fell on top of ice overnight, you don't have to tell me twice to stay home. I was not going to venture out on my first solo trip in conditions like that!

I am fortunate I have a job that allows me to work from home as needed and still contribute to getting a magazine out the door as if I am there. I took full advantage of that today and it worked pretty slick (no pun intended).
At one point I noticed the icicles outside my "office" window and I just got lucky enough to catch a drop off one!

I saw these cute little baby ones, too. Notice the snow blowing like crazy in the background.

The snow did stop by early afternoon. I think we got about 4 inches. In retrospect, I should have had hubby give me a refresher on how to operate the snowblower before he left town. But I decided to take on the challenge. These days I really need to prove I can do something!

I discovered running the snowblower really is like riding a bicycle -- only you don't get those pesky black gnats in your teeth. So that's a bonus I guess. I managed to get it done on my "lunch break" -- so I could really chalk this up as a productive day!

Tonight Carter had a basketball game in town at the Lutheran school. Normally, we dominate but this time it was a different story. I have to give Carter credit for being aggressive. He got 4 fouls! I think it would have been funny to call Jim and tell him his son fouled out and he missed it. But they took him out of the game before that happened.

He did take a few shots tonight but nothing went in. I told him, if you're gonna get fouls, you better make more points than fouls. Easy to say that from the bleachers! I guess it worked out in the end. We won by ONE point! 39-38.

The only negative was my drive to and from the game. Just too stressful for me. I still feel a little shook up and very much the loser for not being able to handle this. I am counting the hours to my Thursday appointment when I can hopefully put this all this anxiety B.S. behind me.

Would really like to get the Happy New Year started. I should have snuck inside Jim's suitcase after all!

Backup Plan

When we went to bed last night and hubby said his alarm was set for 2:45 a.m., I suggested I set mine for 3 p.m. as backup. When your wakeup call involves getting to an airport on time, you don't want to take any chances.

As it turned out, Jim got up with his alarm and was ready for his co-worker from Stevens Point to pick him up at 3:30 and head to the airport in Madison. Unfortunately, he got a phone call before then from the person who didn't think to have a backup plan. And just got up.

So to save time, Jim drove over to Plainfield some 20 miles southeast of us to meet this guy at the Interstate. The good news is that they got to their flight on time and landed safely to a sunny 76-degree day in Clearwater, Fla., this afternoon. The bad news is that I had to get someone to drive me to Plainfield to pick up the car parked at a gas station and drive it back. All by myself.

Good thing I have a support network that envies my best sports bra! I just had to call and I had two people willing to drive me down there. So my next-door neighbor did that and followed me while I braved a long drive by myself. Part of my anxiety gets triggered when I get too warm and it feels like that pre-fainting warm feeling. So I have to drive without the heat on. That is not so comfortable in the winter. But it kept me conscious and I really didn't even have a need to pull over and take a deep breath at any time. So that's good progress. Got home and let out a really deep breath, though!

Spent the afternoon getting scrapbooking stuff together for pages I'll be working on during my next getaway. Carter worked on a research paper while I did that. We both were done before the first playoff game so that put an end to any further productivity for the day.

I got a call from Jim later, standing on the balcony outside his 17th-floor hotel room, watching the sun set on the ocean. What a romantic moment to share together... a half-country apart. "I should have brought you with me," he says.

"Darn right," I said. I wouldn't have slept through MY alarm!

What's Up, Doc?

I realize we are only 3 weeks into the New Year, but it seems like months have gone by since Christmas. Maybe because I have spent so much of that time seeing doctors. That can drag on.

As of today, I have now seen (in 2012) an ER doc, a regular doc, my "back" doc, a new "head" doc and my "lady" doc. No sense waiting too long to meet the insurance deductible for the year! Good grief!

This morning was a previously scheduled annual exam with "Dr. Fun." I don't mind this so much because my OB/GYN doctor makes us ladies quite at ease -- posting pictures of Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford and the like on the ceiling so we have something to distract us. Very nice. Of course, today I was the first appointment for him. Not good on a morning when the temps are 10 below zero or so and he walks in and says, "My hands might be a bit cold." Well, by all means, lay 'em on me! B-r-r. (I may schedule my 2013 appointment in the summer time.)

Glad I got the hard part of the day out of the way. The rest was easy.

Carter and I (as the Cricut operator) finished up his Science Fair poster while hubby grilled up brats for lunch. Oh, how I missed them! A great distraction from the chilly weather.

While those two went to the batting cage this afternoon, I whipped up some cookies, finally using up some of the those mini M&M's I just had to buy for Christmas. I also frosted the cookies with the Peppermint Frosting I never got around to using either. Yummy. We're not picky about what treats look like around here as long as they taste good!

Since the temp got up to 15 above or so, I went for a short walk -- just to get back out there! That was nice. After that, I went through some exercises on my "bouncy ball" (I don't know what it's called). These are part of a list my chiropractor gave me to strengthen my core (abs) and my back. I suspect they will work since my back was feeling it immediately.

When the guys got back, I drove (oh yes, I did) Carter to the library to get some books on the Mayflower for an upcoming research paper. When we got done there, he mentioned the 7th-grade boys were having a home hoops tournament. In one breath he asks if we can stop at the school to see if it's still going on and then mentioned some of the 8th-grade girls may be there to watch their younger brothers play. Might as well not even try to hide your motivation for going, Carter.

As it turned out, we got there before the last game of the day so we did get to see the Assumption 7th-graders play AND win the tournament. Carter sitting with his gal pals and me sitting with mine. I felt just fine in the gym so actually I enjoyed my first game of the year. This is great progress. I drove home, too. This is even greater progress!

We got home a little after 7. So I had time to cut Jim's hair before he leaves on a work trip to Florida tomorrow. He's all packed -- including his golf clubs -- and in bed since he leaves the house at 3:30 a.m. I should probably get to bed, too. Tomorrow might just signal my return to church.

Maybe.

Couch Potatoes

No school today. First semester wrapped up yesterday so while Mommy and Daddy were hard at work, Carter managed to get out of bed at 10 a.m. and make his way all the way out to the couch in the living room, where an anchor was apparently tied to his butt the rest of the day.

That's a day in the life of a teenager!

I have to admit I had quite a bit of couch time this week as well. But my couch was in someone's office. Oh yes, it is what you think!

I decided to take an aggressive approach to this anxiety business. My friend the psychologist set me up with one of her co-workers who helps patients recovering from trauma -- in all shapes and sizes. I met with her Monday and Wednesday and then yesterday we started a special "technique" this is not exactly hypnosis and not quite voodoo, but just as odd. To me anyway. I won't get into details now but if it works, and I think it will, I'll explain it all later.

I do have confidence it will work. Today already I was able to drive the car longer than 5 minutes without a freakout moment. In fact, I drove it 50 minutes! All the way to work in Iola!

Part of the success is due to hubby riding shotgun and engaging me in conversation for pretty much the whole drive. That was a good distraction. I wasn't completely relaxed or anything, but I was considerably less anxious and agitated. That is huge progress for me. He also helped me make it through a longer shopping list in Wal-Mart tonight. I didn't get too freaked until I had to wait for the cashier to ring me up. That's waaay better than just a few days ago.

Obviously, I was hoping I'd be "all cured" before hubby leaves on his work trip on Sunday, but I won't be. Another session on the infamous couch next week and I should be. But that won't be in time for me to be Miss Independent while Jim is gone. I do hope I can drive by myself to work Monday and Tuesday, but we'll see.

For now, I'll try not to think about it. I'll just be grateful for my progress and try to relax this weekend.

On my own couch.

Mister Freeze

I'm Mister White Christmas
I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle
I'm Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser...

Well, he showed up late to the party, but Mister Freeze sure made an entrance.

Yes, I know it's winter in Wisconsin. And yes, I knew he was coming. But that doesn't mean I have to like it!

When I got up this morning, it was 6 below zero in Wisconsin Rapids. Right now it is 6 below zero. I'm not sure what happened in between but I don't think we got above zero. It sure didn't feel like it anyway. The wind was brutal, making the windchill factor super-duper cold. (That's official weather man jargon, I'm sure.)

Probably a good thing I didn't have to be anywhere tonight. There were at least 3 places I would have liked to have been (hubby is at the girls' hoops game), but I opted to stay home with Carter. Where it was warm inside. And we both got sucked into a second evening of American Idol.

I'll be the first to admit I am a fair weather Idol fan. I watch some of the initial tryouts (like this week) then pretty much ignore it -- unless I happen to catch a minute here or there -- until it gets down to the last half dozen to dozen contestants. Unless, of course, there's someone on there I know (which only happened once and that was a remote connection) or someone from Wisconsin kicking butt, a la Danny Gokey (who I still think should have won).

So we listened to some good and bad singers tonight, were entertained and that took our minds of Mister Freeze howling outside our windows. B-r-r-r!

Apparently it really distracted Carter, who just said, "Hey, you want a root beer float?"

Whose kid is that?!

Prep School

It's Finals Week this week at Assumption and I am having flashbacks to my days as a student. I don't recall high school finals much but definitely remember pulling "all-nighters" for those college tests. Uff da. I could not handle that now!

Carter did not show any signs of stress or late nighters even. I probably wouldn't have known it was Finals Week by his study habits, just happened to see it on the Middle School newsletter. I guess we should have impressed upon him that Finals are a big deal and account for a good chunk of his grade so he better hope to ace them!

Too late now. He'll know for next time.

As an 8th-grader, he only has two high school level classes now anyway -- German I and Algebra I. So he's sort of easing into the Finals thing and getting prepped for next year. If all goes well this week and at the end of the school year, he'll have some high school credits on the books. That's very cool.

At this point, we're going to assume he does OK because next week is already 9th-grade orientation (help!) and the week after that is high school class registration (oh my!). Is this really happening?

I know you think the reason I can't believe my baby is almost a high-schooler is that he's still so cute and cuddly. That could be part of it. But mainly it's because he's almost in high school and yet we still have to tell him 5 times to take a shower each night (tonight was only 4) and remind him practically daily to brush his teeth and make his bed (that's fallen way off his priority list).

He actually did much better with those things when he was younger. We might have to revert to his old daily check-off list of things to do before school: Eat breakfast; brush teeth; feed kitty; make bed; turn down heat.

Of course, he'll probably add his own: Watch ESPN Sportscenter; charge iPod; check emails from girlfriends...

Yep, I'm having flashbacks to my days as a boy-crazy student and this doesn't bode well.

The Other F Word

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear... is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance...

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

The word FEAR -- in a sneaking, cunning, baffling way -- has gained power over me in recent days. It prompted me to look up President Roosevelt's inaugural speech with his famous quote. Upon reading his complete sentence on the matter, I am now curious what he considers "unreasoning" or "unjustified" terror. Is it what today we call "irrational" fears?

The funny thing about irrational fears is that they are totally rational to the person who fears them. And there is nothing funny about them. They aren't silly or inconsequential. In fact, I am sure they hold a great deal of power of the individual. And that alone is scary. Believe me.

Bear with me as I try to process some of this on paper. I feel like -- well, I know -- I am suffering from some irrational fears. And it's somewhat embarrassing. But no less real than any one of your greatest fears.

That's the thing about fear, we really can't compare each other's feelings of fright. It's like pain -- totally subjective to a person's tolerance level. When someone is in pain, don't say to them, "C'mon, that doesn't hurt." You can't possibly know their threshold. The same goes for fear. You can't minimize someone's feelings just because you can't imagine being afraid of flying or thunderstorms or heights or spiders. If you can't identify with their fear, then, as a friend, you just have to be there for them and try to instill some confidence.

That's the key word for me right now: confidence.

I've lost it. I am baffled that simple, somewhat automatic tasks like driving, shopping, going to church, intimidate me to this heart-pounding level. But I can understand it. My fear isn't the task itself. My fear is that while doing one of these things I will just about pass out again or not be able to stop myself from a full-bore faint.

So while my virus is gone and I feel 100% healthy, I don't "normal" yet. I don't feel free to move on.

I am not sure how.

On one hand, I am OK with baby steps, gradually re-entering into society. This seems to be working slowly but surely this week.

On the other hand, I am under a legitimate time crunch with hubby leaving town for work come Sunday and I need to be a functioning, capable adult -- driving to work (45 miles might as well be 4,500 at this point) and getting Carter where he needs to be, too.

This is going to be one helluva challenge. I guess I should feel some comfort that I never back down from a challenge. You know me, I'm too competitive to say "no." I'd rather prove I can do it. No matter what it takes.

I hope that's the case this time.

I am fortunate that some of my closest friends are psychologists. They've got a few tricks up their sleeve. And I tell you, right now, I am willing to try anything. This is no way to live. And I feel badly for people who don't have the support or coping mechanisms to address their fears. I feel for you. I just can't do anything for you.

Heck, I'm just hoping I can do it for myself!

Day Out

I was reminded today of that Little Golden Book entitled "Baby's Day Out" because it felt like "Robyn's Day Out." A special day highlighting how much I could see and do ... and stay upright.

(Spoiler alert: I did.)

Hubby and I had the day off for the MLK Holiday. My first order of business was a visit to the chiropractor. I decided to try and drive there (about 13-15 minutes) and see if I could handle it without getting anxious. I made it 5 minutes and then had Jim take over. Am just not ready yet.

The chiropractor visit went long because we did some X-rays to make sure things at least looked OK with my upper back and hips. The X-rays looked good. And were quite entertaining. While my doc made sure I didn't have any metal on -- like the drawstring of my sweats -- we forgot about my bra. Here my X-ray has too lovely underwires showing! Ha. I couldn't stop laughing.

After that, our "day out" continued with a trip to Wal-Mart. This was my second attempt to shop there this year. This one went much better -- mainly thanks to the fact we only needed 3 things. And we got them fast. Stayed on our mission and just kept moving. I am trying to outsmart this anxiety!

That didn't work all day, unfortunately.

Carter had a basketball game up in Marshfield. It was my first return to the gym. I think I might have been OK but Carter came up to me before the first tip-off and said, "Mom, I feel like I have to throw up." Oh good grief! Can our family have one normal day in 2012??

So Carter spent the game out in the car, laying down in the back seat while I checked on him -- and was grateful to have a reason to leave the gymnasium a few times. 'Cause I wasn't having an easy time of it. But we had to stay because Jim was doing the scorebook and we were giving a teammate a ride home.

We got through it. And, at the end of the day, this baby-stepping mom survived her day out. Here's hoping it gets a little easier each time.

You Still Have Your Health

I know this doesn't mean much to Packers fans right now, but you know the old saying when people are down on their luck... "You still have your health." Trust me, that's a bi-i-i-i-i-i-ggg deal!

Again today I can say this is the best I've felt all year. Two weeks into 2012 and that is saying a lot. It sure has made me appreciate every good feeling. And doubly appreciate when, at the end of the day, the good feelings outweighed the bad, icky, dizzy ones. I like those days.

Today, I did not make it to church. I didn't sleep well and didn't want my un-dramatic return to be influenced by lack of sleep again. But once I had breakfast and got some caffeine in me, I was feeling almost normal.

I spent much of the early afternoon helping Carter with his Science Fair project -- and by helping I mean cutting out letters on the Cricut and making him do all the pasting up on his poster board. (He's really had a productive weekend thanks to being grounded.)

And while 9 out of 10 houses in Wisconsin were tuned into the playoff game later this afternoon, I found something of my own to cheer about. My first drive this year!

I got in the car and drove a mile down the road, turned around then drove another mile and turned back toward home. I got a little nervous toward the end, but I stayed conscious -- which is good since I was by myself. I don't know if I am ready for the 45-mile drive to work (which I have to be in a week), but baby steps are good.

And worth celebrating.

Also worth celebrating -- and sorry, Packer fans -- but the final numbers matched up in MY favor so I have 75 big ones coming my way when we go back to work on Tuesday (holiday tomorrow). That will be enough to pay for part of a Camp Crop-A-Lot registration anyway! Thanks, Eli Manning and company.

Happy dance aside, this really is the best I've felt all year. Hopefully someday soon I can say that I have my health, too!

Dancing Queens

With our life focused on raising boys, every once in awhile we have to "adopt" someone else's daughter as our own. This gives us great excuses to attend softball games, volleyball games, girls basketball games and, today, a dance recital!

One of the dance studios in town was putting on their semi-annual show. We were mainly going because Jim's goddaughter Becca was going to be in it, but we knew of at least 2 other dancing daughters of friends, too.

Obviously, I wasn't sure what to expect. In the back of my mind, I guess I was thinking of girls in tutus doing graceful Swan Lake moves. I couldn't have been more surprised when the first set of songs was Lady Gaga and the second set was Adele. Seriously! The third set was patriotic numbers ranging from Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy to Lee Greenwood's God Bless the U.S.A.

In all, it was almost a 2-hour show. And it was awesome! Becca did great and well, so did everyone. You can tell it was a lot of hours of practice to pull that off. What a treat.

And I was just glad to survive my first big "outing." The rest of the day it put me in the mood to dance. Which helped when I was un-decking the halls since taking down Christmas decorations is typically a downer.

Too bad I didn't have a daughter to help me!

TGIsF (Thank God I Survived Friday ... the 13th)

With the way our luck has been running in 2012, I was a little hesitant to leave the house today. Did we need a Friday the 13th so soon on the calendar?

Thankfully -- and I type this while knocking on wood -- we survived it OK.

Started off the day shoveling (Carter) and blowing snow (hubby) since we got a few more inches of the winter stuff over night. My first stop of the day was the chiropractor. Remember before all the drama of the flying Dyson and the vertigo virus, I had back problems? That seems so minor now! And the back is doing much better, thanks for asking.

Then it was off to work. I didn't feel that great today (lack of sleep) but got better after a good lunch from Subway (commercial plug). By coincidence, my confidence meter was rising and keeping pace with my "feel good" meter. So I was able to accomplish not one, but two, amazing tasks after work.

First I walked into Walgreens to pick up and pay for photos. Secondly, I walked into Kwik Trip to pick up and pay for a pizza. Both times there were no lines, thankfully, plus I had Jim with me (just in case) -- but felt OK. He said, "You want to try Wal-Mart now?" Ha, I said. "Let's not push it, honey. Baby steps."

Maybe tomorrow.

Tonight after supper we enjoyed some time by a campfire next door, then I came home to sit down and write some bills. (Some things don't stop no matter how you feel.) The boys are still out there.

It was a good thing, I came home, though, or I would have missed a call from my "half" sister (who I ran the half-marathon with). We sort of laughed at the irony that 3 months ago I ran a half marathon and today my big accomplishment was walking 50 feet into a store. What a big girl I am!

Baby steps, right?

I definitely am not pushing it on Friday the 13th. My luck ran out days ago.

Study Buddy

I don't know what possessed me to volunteer to help Carter study for a social studies test, but it's too late to back out now. I am immersed in pilgrims, Puritans, Quakers and witches on my way to learning everything there is to know about the original 13 colonies. In one night.

Carter has been doing worksheets and various assignments all week on this topic but didn't really start studying it until tonight. Probably a good thing we had a minor snow storm today and basketball practice was canceled for tonight. He needs every minute he can get.

And I really don't know what help I am. I forgot all about what John Rolfe and John Smith and 6 other Johns did back then! But, as always, Daddy and I say we are willing to help quiz him so he can study for a test. Any test.

Of course I am a closet geek. Well, not really closeted. I admit I loved school and I was a book worm and didn't settle for anything less than straight A's. What I have to remember is that my teenage boy is not wired the same way. But the kid has potential.

So even though he "hates" social studies (I wasn't a huge fan either), I am sacrificing my 7 o'clock bedtime and serving as his study buddy. (Thankfully I feel well enough to stay up this late. Ha.)

I just hope it helps. He was very frustrated earlier. "Mom, when in my job will I need to know about the Salem Witch Trials? Seriously!" Yup, a bit frustrated. Although I am enjoying re-learning things (yes, I am that geek), I see this calming him a bit. Right now he is filling out a blank map of the 13 colonies -- one that I am not sure I could do myself -- then we're quizzing on keywords in reverse order.

Oh yeah, I've got the tricks up my sleeve. We'll get there.

I just hope I don't toss and turn all night worrying about Pocahontas or Plymouth Rock!

Better Yet

Although I don't have much to compare it to, today was the best I have felt this year. And really, that isn't saying much, is it?

For once, after my shower and breakfast, I did not want to crawl back into bed. I felt fine about continuing on with my day at work. Didn't have any dizzy spells or flu-like symptoms all day. Even managed to walk into ShopKo after work to buy one thing -- and did it without incident. Of course, hubby was by my side just in case.

We picked Carter up from basketball practice and dropped him off at church for confirmation. While he was there, we went to visit Jim's aunt and uncle -- the ones I was going to see way back on Jan. 2 when I made a detour into the ER. They were wondering what took me so long!

After getting Carter, we had to stop and gas up and get lottery tickets. Feeling cocky from my successful shopping excursion earlier, I waltzed right into Kwik Trip. Unfortunately, while I waiting in line, my head started getting warm and fuzzy. But I stayed upright. Just kept taking deep breaths and managed to lean against the counter.

The blast of cool air sure felt good when I walked out of there! I guess the small victory was that I was able to walk out of there. In the grand scheme of things, though, this still sucks.

Big time.

I guess I should still feel good that today was a better day than yesterday. I suppose if each day gets a little better, tomorrow will be even better yet.

Hopefully that extra dose of patience I ordered arrives tomorrow, too!

Worth Noting

A part of me feels badly for those winter outdoors types who haven't even had a chance to dust off their skis or snowmobiles this winter.

But just a teeny part. The rest of me is loving this springlike weather in Wisconsin.

Since I've been pretty much confined indoors, I haven't commented much on what's happening outside but it's worth noting: We've had Spring around here! Not kidding. Sunny and temps in the 40s, nearly 50, for several days. When you see people walking around without coats in January, you wonder if you are still in Wisconsin. It's crazy.

For people like hubby and me, who have that 45-mile commute to work, we don't mind warm temps and bare roads one bit. For runners (and I will be one again someday soon, I hope), this has been perfect weather. I am so envious of those capable of doing that! 40-something degrees is my running temp!

We did do one thing to take advantage of this winter "break." We took our Christmas icicle lights, garland and red bows off the outside of the house this afternoon. Might as well do it now in our shirt sleeves since Winter is bound to show up sooner or later.

And yes, it will.

Life in these northern climes will be back to reality Thursday, I guess. Supposed to get up to 5 inches of snow with a high only in the teens. B-r-r. Just about the time I'll feel better (knock on wood) and get to go outside, it will be to shovel!

So we better enjoy this while we can. If I don't feel up to it tomorrow, promise me you'll at least enjoy it for me. Heck, if you want to run a mile or 2 for me as well, I won't turn you down.

I'll return the favor some day.

2012 Predictions & Resolutions

Sorry I've been so busy trying to stay upright that I haven't taken time to do any creative writing this year or address the New Year or make resolutions or predictions. So despite the fact that I am still not close to 100%, I am going to try to engage the brain here with some predictions and resolutions...

Health: I predict I will feel like my old self by next week at this time. (Please, please, please!) I resolve that I will focus on my health and keep those great numbers (cholesterol, etc.) where they are and the not-so-great numbers (weight) closer to where they should be.

Running: I predict I will be slowing down this year. Can I get any slower? I mean races. I think I ended up doing 7 last year plus the half-marathon. No wonder I am beat! I resolve to have some fun with exercise (Wii Zumba!) and do more cross-training to strengthen my back, my hip and my resolve.

Attitude: I predict Daddy and I will be dealing with a full-blown teen attitude in the house. It is starting already and there's nothing we can do to stop it, is there? I resolve to practice patience ... and when I don't have it, fake it until I find it.

Family: I predict there will be some drama as 8 kids plan an 80th birthday party for our mother this Spring. I resolve to be a help, not a hindrance... and refer to the previous item on patience.

Scrapbooking: I predict I will be caught up with my chronological family albums in a month (oh yeah!). I resolve to make headway on Carter's grade school and middle school books before he starts high school in the fall!

High School?!?: I predict I will not be able to handle the fact my baby will be in 9th grade!! I resolve to try to hold it together -- at least in public.

Writing: I predict I will keep up with my daily blog but earmark more time to other writing. And you know what I'm talking about. I resolve to pick one of my 5 different "first chapters" and see it through.

Faith: I predict this first roller coaster ride of the year won't be our last. I resolve to be grateful for what I do have -- a loving God, a solid marriage, wonderfully supportive family and friends, and my health. And remember to count those blessings.

Happy New Year!

Support System

I have learned through my many ups and downs in life that it is critical to have a good support system (and be a good one for others if they need it).

On this Virus roller coaster ride I'm on, today was a down day. I woke up with the right attitude. Thought I am just going to ride this out and it will be all over soon. But forgot about the patience part of it. It was not happening today. In fact, I gave it a good effort, had breakfast but then sent hubby off to church and I went back to bed for a few hours.

I decided in the early afternoon I should probably shower and get to the store since Mother Hubbard's cupboards are getting pretty bare. Since I wasn't in top shape, I had hubby drive. Carter came with because his backpack went out of commission this week -- which I'm sure had nothing to do with toting around 30-50 pounds of books every day.

Well I had good intentions. But I got about 50 feet inside Wal-Mart and said no way. Not gonna make it. So I had Carter walk me to the car and I handed over the grocery list to my support team.

Probably good I know Wal-Mart like the back of my hand and I write the list out from the back of the store to the front so they could get everything in an orderly fashion. I reminded them of that later twice but I did not get the "thanks, that helped" I was looking for. I guess because they were the ones actually doing me a favor.

Plus, they were a little bit crabby. Not sure what all transpired, but I know they don't like shopping and it did take us 3 stores (well, I sat in the car) to find a backpack at this time of year. Probably Carter shouldn't have said at that point, "Well I guess this will do for now" instead of "Thank you!"

Sigh.

I guess we can all do a little better in the gratitude department around here. I did make them a good chili supper before I go off to bed here in a few minutes. And I am grateful that even though today was a down day on the roller coaster, this ride isn't going to last forever.

At least I hope not. Good thing I have a great group of people riding with me. Listening to me scream. Holding my hand. Making sure I don't fall out.

Thanks.

Rest and Fluids

When the doctor recommended I lay low this weekend and get plenty of rest and fluids, I was wondering if this was code for "drink heavily and watch chick flicks." You never know.

Well, actually I do know. And don't worry, I went light on the fluids (water and some caffeine) but heavy on the chick flicks.

It was a weird day to be by myself. I really, really hate missing any of Carter's events -- sports or otherwise. But hubby kept me posted, texting me scores throughout the day so I could cheer from the couch. I kept saying, "Somebody better be taking pictures for me!"

It seriously was exciting. Each time he texted, it was another win. I couldn't believe it. They haven't played that way all year. So at 3-0, they actually played for the championship at the end of the day... defeating (yes!) tournament host Antigo by 2 points. Whoo-hoo!

How exciting. I wish I could have been there but it was a good call to stay home. I didn't sleep well last night so I woke up feeling "blah" again. Would not have done well in a warm gymnasium all day. In fact I even pooh-poohed my big plans to be daring and drive to the bank this morning. Was not quite ready so had the next-door neighbor escort me.

After I got home, I did some housework, even faced my fear and took on that Dyson again. No stairs this time. In between watching Dirty Dancing, The Sweetest Thing and Pretty in Pink, I downloaded all the pictures off my camera, uploaded them to Walgreens and ordered prints. That was a big accomplishment for me. Now I will be all set for some upcoming scrapbooking weekends -- if I feel well enough to go.

And I think I will. I heard from a friend of mine whose son went through this same "virus" in December. Same symptoms, same tests (EKG and the works) and same results. His took about 2 weeks to run its course, so I feel encouraged I am halfway there at least!

I better be. There's plenty more to do around this house. Not to mention some great basketball games to watch.

Preferably in person.

Clean Bill of Health?

The trip to the doctor today provided some answers -- but they weren't questions I'd asked yet.

I had an exam and they took blood (didn't faint, ha) and the results were amazing. I have perfectly normal blood pressure, cholesterol, thyroid, blood-sugar levels, electrolytes and other things I didn't know needed to be tested. In other words, I am perfectly healthy. Who would have thought?

So while the doctor still couldn't identify exactly what is wrong with me, at least I have everything from my heart to my hemoglobin covered!

Actually, he speculated that it is a virus of some sort that needs to run its course. The funny thing is that I told hubby the other day, "I am not going to let the doctor tell me it's just some virus." But that's what he said and I let him.

Now it seems logical because I am gradually feeling better. He suggested "rest and fluids" this weekend so that I can hopefully be back to normal by Sunday, maybe Monday at the latest.

So I went to work (hubby drove, of course) and was feeling way better than yesterday or the day before. I didn't want to push it so I am staying home from the basketball game tonight (high school boys) and will have to miss Carter's hoops tourney up in Antigo tomorrow. That bums me out but in the long run, this could get me closer to being able to drive and go to church again. Ha. I really do have problems!

At least I know from all these tests this week, that other than the obvious, I am perfectly normal!

House Call

Since doctor's don't make house calls these days, I just ordered myself to bed rest for the day.

I honestly got up and showered and ate breakfast with all intentions of going to work. But by the time I did that, I just wasn't feeling well enough to continue. So I went back to bed.

Spent the day doing work between naps. Don't feel much better so I skipped out on Carter's basketball game (going on right now) and will head back to bed shortly.

I have a doctor's appointment first thing in the morning. Can't wait to see what he knows. At this point, I don't care what it is -- good or bad -- just so we can treat it and make it go away! I appreciate the prayers and the many "second opinions" out there. One of you may be right!

The Thing

There comes an age when we don't mind being sent to bed without supper. I have reached that age.

Actually, I will eat a little something first but will hit the hay early tonight in hopes of sleeping off this thing. And by thing I mean this mysterious "unconscious" ailment making me nervous about driving again and even shopping in Wal-Mart. Now you know I'm not right!

As it turns out, our whole clan is just going to single-handedly support the healthcare industry in 2012.

Hubby had a plugged ear (a dream come true for him) so we stopped at the walk-in clinic after work and he got that unplugged (sorry for the short-lived silence, honey).

Then we get to basketball practice and Carter is sitting off on the side, holding his leg. I guess it "got landed on hard" by someone's bony knee. So he is limping around and will relegate himself to the couch with an ice pack. Hopefully he'll be in game-day form in the morning so he can play at his game tomorrow night.

As for me, I have a doctor's appointment at 8 a.m. Friday so I will just have to get through this thing until then. And appreciate my wonderful husband who is willing to drive Miss Crazy around and shop for me.

I'm sure he's hoping for a cure more than anyone :)

Christmas Vacation :: The Sequel

I almost wonder if there were hidden cameras the past 2 weeks, recording our comedic drama for a sequel to the Christmas Vacation movie. I mean c'mon, other than having a squirrel in the house, it felt like the misadventures of the Grizzwold family!

Glad that's over.

Today it was officially back to the daily grind. And it couldn't have come sooner!

Neither hubby nor myself were feeling 100%, but we gave it a go. It's hard not to go into the office when you've been out for over a week. You just don't want work to pile up even more.

I had a few moments this morning especially when I thought I should have just stayed home in bed. Maybe rest it off for a day. But I got through it. Gatorade helped get me re-hydrated. Focusing on the many, many tasks at hand helped get my mind off a sequel to yesterday's events.

We both made it through then headed up to Marathon after work for Carter's basketball game. They played like they had been off 11 days as well. Not good. We just never got it going tonight. Ended up losing something like 44-21. Dang.

After the game, we stopped at the nearby McDonald's to get Carter something to eat. I figured I was due for an eggnog shake, too, but they said they are all out until next season. Double dang.

Guess we're all hoping the year, the season, each day gets a little better. Good thing we're loaded patience around here.

Right.

Do Over

Stop me if you've heard this before (or read it)... the Austins need a do over on 2012. Seriously.

I can't make this stuff up -- though it could make some entertaining fiction. I can say that now that no one was killed, seriously injured or hospitalized today.

I guess we can blame Carter. He started the drama at 6:39 a.m. when he burst into our room, turned the bright light on in my face and declared in a quite panicked voice that he overslept. Well, oversleeping for him does not have to be a front-burner crisis. But it always is.

He took his shower last night. Slept in the Badger shirt he was going to wear to school so really had 25 minutes to eat 2 Pop Tarts, put on pants, socks and shoes, and shove in his contacts. He did all that with at least 2.5 minutes to spare.

I think. Hubby and I rolled over went back to sleep. Yep, Jim is still on the mend from the flu. Feeling slightly better -- he can sit up to watch TV -- but nowhere near being in the clear yet. He was supposed to be able to just sit and relax today. And he did that until about 1:30 p.m. when he got a call from his wife saying, "Don't be alarmed. I'm in the Emergency Room."

Seriously, don't be alarmed. It's just more unscripted drama making for one helluva crappy scrapbook for 2012.

I went into town to run a few errands. About halfway into town I wasn't feeling too good. It was that feeling I started getting during those 2 recent "episodes" at church. I tried to talk myself into being fine. Even though it was only 12 degrees out, I cranked open the window to get some cold air to snap it out of me. It worked.

Or so I thought. Just when I was going down the hill by the hospital (thank God), I got hot and started to see spots. I pushed the window "down" button and practically screamed that last few hundred yards to the stoplight so I would stay "awake." I turned at the corner and right into the ER parking lot. By the grace of God, I parked it safely and was OK.

But scared out of my wits. I sat there thinking I was probably going to be fine in a few minutes (as usual). But then good sense overruled for a change. And I thought, "As long as I'm here, I might as well go in." I carefully made my way into ER and didn't pass out but needed to sit right away. I hated to call my sick honey but you know how we women get in emergencies -- we tend to cry and need a hug. And doctors aren't always accommodating.

Long story (already) short. I was there 3-4 hours. They had me hooked up to a heart monitor the whole time, took a chest X-ray and an EKG (lots of wires but painless). I'm normal. Well, normal on some levels. They don't know why I just about loss consciousness 3 times in the last 10 days, but said it could be dozens of reasons -- every from the flu (noted) to hot flashes (though I didn't know we women take our lives -- and other's -- into our hands when we hit menopause). The doctor said I was pretty young for that to be happening anyway.

Since they couldn't do any more for me, they sent me home with a pamphlet listing the dozens of reasons a person can faint. I rode home with Jim. I didn't feel too confident about driving just yet.

I'm actually just anxious to get back to work tomorrow and put all the New Year's drama behind me. Please. No more fainting. No more back pain. No more flying Dysons.

Just give me my everyday stress. This vacation has been hazardous to my health!

False Start

We haven't quite started our Happy New Year yet. It's been sort of a false start here. We've got the New Year in place, just not the Happy part.

Sometime after the ball had dropped, the clock struck 12 and we had our New Year's kiss, hubby also got something else. A flu bug.

He was up several times during the night and wasn't far from the bathroom all day, laying in bed in sweats and still shivering. The flu sucks!

Meanwhile, I thought for awhile there I would be joining him. Despite the icy roads, we had to get to 8 a.m. church for Carter to acolyte. I was fine beforehand and greeted some old friends and really felt good. Then, about 5 minutes into the service, just like at Christmas, I thought I was going to pass out. Trust me, less than 20 people made it to the early service so it wasn't overcrowded or overheated. Who knows what it was, but I snuck out a side door and laid down in a Sunday School room for awhile. It was a little scary on the drive home but after a few stops, we got here. I slept on the couch awhile and never really had any zip (or Happy) set in.

Jim wasn't up for eating anything and I didn't have much of an appetite either. Finally at 6 tonight I had that piece of cheesecake. Now you know something's not right.

Carter had to spend his last day of Christmas vacation playing video games by himself, shoveling snow by himself and eating by himself. I did watch a movie with him. We got the Kevin Costner Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves Blu-Ray for $5 on Black Friday. So that was fun to watch that "old" movie together.

Now I'm trying to get him set for his return to school tomorrow. Thankfully, Jim and I have one more day off to recover and rejuvenate. It's our New Year's holiday. Here's hoping tomorrow we can add the Happy.