Getting Testy

Blessed is the man (or woman) who perseveres under trial, because when he (she) has stood the test, he (she) will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. 

~ James 1:12

One of my many faults is that when I get overstressed, I get testy. Could that be because, as the scripture above points out, I am being tested? It is starting to make sense.

And while I am being tested, I won't say I overreact necessarily, but let's just say I am more sensitive to words, actions and attitudes.

Thus, the start of my testy day.

I was upset with something my teenage angel did and had to convey my anger and disappointment via text (can't disturb him in "class," you know). Nothing like investing far too many emotions in a negative conversation, stretched over hours based on our individual availability to read and respond.

I had just told myself this weekend that I need to not let the mood of others define mine. Hard to do, though, when you are the one causing that mood.

Sigh...

Add that to the work stress and some serious personal issues going on with loved ones, and I was doing a great job nurturing an ulcer, migraine or something requiring ice cream.

I wanted to throw a pity party but knew I couldn't get the invites out fast enough. So I was talking to God on my way home, trying to run down my list of blessings and reminders of why He is really not testing me all that much.

Wasn't hard to come up with a few:

One, I am fortunate my boy has not set me off too many times. Yet. We may just be at the starting line of the "terrible teens" so I better get my act together.

Two, anything that is competing with my serenity right now is not as serious as the life-changing or life-threatening events that anchor my prayer list these days.

Three, God keeps his promises. I was just about home when I spotted a rainbow. I didn't even know it had rained! Maybe it was just a sign for me to hang in there.

I was a straight-A student once. Why not see if I can pass these tests again?