The Price Of Love

I like this definition of grief. It definitely changes but it does not disappear. Not if you really loved the person you miss.

Today marks two years since my dad died. I swear I was not going to be one of those people who has to call attention to a death anniversary. But in some ways it still seems so fresh.

It's weird but my dad visits me quite often in my dreams. I don't recall his guest appearances before he died, but now he's somehow part of a crazy dream plot at least once a month. I've become used to "seeing" him. So when I dug out a picture today in remembrance, it shocked me back to reality. Wow. I really miss him!

And the dams opened. I think my tears rivaled the raindrops outside, as they ran unchecked down my cheeks.

This photo was taken at a family reunion some 6 or 8 years ago. I remember this moment vividly. I said, "Dad, we have to get our picture taken together since I am apparently the daughter who looks like you the most!" And he answered with his typical, "Is that right?"

And you just see that start of a sly smile... that opened the flood gates today. Just not fair we'll never banter back and forth again. Just isn't.

So I'll concentrate on the good memories and keep them alive in my mind and heart. That is the price of love, right?

Thanks for all the support! Grief is much more manageable when you are not walking the dark journey alone.