Buzz Off!

It's not easy for me to admit, but I am stuck in an abusive relationship. I'm now 40-something years old. How did I not see the signs? Did I not notice how broken he is? Did I not realize his sense of abandonment would force him to retaliate ?

It is becoming worse than I ever expected.

Mr. Deck Chair is a raving lunatic!!

Well, maybe not raving, but buzzing anyway.

I hadn't realized how much I was neglecting him. Apparently I have been working too hard or traveling too much or sitting at the ballpark too often. I have not been giving him any attention. My white legs are proof of that.

And, I now know, he has become attached to someone else. He calls her Honey, but she's evil. He was really secretive about it and kept her out of my sight.

Until it was too late...

Can you believe a bee hive has taken residence under my chair?? We had no idea until Jim moved the chair on Friday and it buzzed and swarmed. And stung.

I had no idea Mr. Deck Chair was the jealous type but he exacted his revenge. Jim is allergic to bees!

Last night, expecting the worker bees to be inside at rest, Jim and my brother-in-law Paul attempted to eradicate the hive, using a 10-foot pole and killer foam spray. Jim tipped the chair and Paul foamed up the nest, but not before one escaped and, you guessed it, stung hubby.

So my wonderful birthday weekend was bookended with bee stings and Epi-Pens.

Today, I kicked the evil mistress to the curb. The question is, can I forgive Mr. Deck Chair and continue our relationship? Or should I tell him to "Buzz off!" and move on?

Eyeing my pasty legs, I am having a weak moment here...